Eyes Open ✰ Jalex

5 // It's Beginning To Get To Me

Hello, I am back! Sorry for not updating for quite some time, I got kind of distracted and had some trouble with Chapter 7 but I finally got it done and it's really long and nice. I want to have some more chapters done before Chapter 6 goes up, so it might be a while (again) before I update.

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// i know more of the stars and sea

// than i do of what's in your head

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Jack had experienced a long, tiresome week. Alex's parents hadn't wanted to stay home and make sure that their son was doing somewhat okay, so Jack took up that responsibility for himself. Jack took time making sure that Alex was eating, that Alex was seeing the light of day from time to time, and  that Alex had someone to be there for him. Jack had come to terms with a habit that Alex had that consisted of biting the inside of his cheek with little intent to stop after he had started. Jack had found out about this when Alex had suddenly gotten up with what seemed like newfound energy after laying in Jack's arms all day long, and spat blood into the sink of his bathroom. Jack had stared in shock and panic that wasn't very well concealed. The bloody taste of his mouth had caused Alex to want to eat even less, and Jack hadn't had an easy time in trying to persuade him to eat. Alex claimed to not like either the taste of any food or the aftertaste of any food. Jack knew what it felt like to feel alone and not inspired to do anything , and he didn't want someone he cared about as much as Alex to feel like that. Yet it was getting so hard to make sure that Alex felt needed by someone. 

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Alex woke up one morning feeling better. He didn't know why he suddenly felt better, but he woke with some sort of peacefulness inside his heart. Jack had left the blinds open that night, and soft white light floated in through the window. Alex gazed out the window and let his eyes adjust to the light, watching snowflakes softly twirl down in their individual little dances. His room, the place where he always felt safe, felt even more safe that morning. Alex felt like nothing could ever break through those baby blue walls and break him down again; he felt invincible. Glancing down at the soft bedspread hanging off the side of his bed, a small smile tugged at his lips as he saw Jack's sleeping form curled around a pillow.

Half of Jack's hair was flattened against the mattress, the other half of it looked all fluffy and soft. Alex wanted to pet Jack's stupid hair, but didn't want to wake up his friend. Jack always seemed so worried when he was awake, and Alex was happy to see a little smile on Jack's face as he dreamt of something much more peaceful than real life could ever be. But Alex was wondering if he could prove that wrong because at that moment, he felt more peaceful than he had ever been in his whole life.

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Winter break in Baltimore had ended, but winter break in wherever-in-Hawaii-Zack-was had just began, and he was visiting Jack. When Jack was first informed of this, he felt excited. Of course, who wouldn't? His best friend who had basically left him for dead was coming back for a week just to leave him feeling even more lonely and useless than ever! After considering many things, Jack realized that he wasn't that excited about Zack visiting. Well, he was, but then he wasn't. Maybe this way he could find something to do with all the old clothes and random trinkets left behind by his "friend" that didn't involve burning them or throwing them into a ditch somewhere. In the few months that Zack had been gone, Jack had realized that Rian and Alex made much better friends than him. Rian cared about things other than himself and was always up for doing something that not only he wanted to do. Rian was caring and kind and had a nice smile. Alex was completely otherworldly and didn't even come close to how special Jack thought Zack had been to him.