Eyes Open ✰ Jalex

11 // The Finish Line

This was supposed to be the last chapter of this story before I worked things out. Is that allowed to make me emotional? I think it is. Anyways I have only three chapters left to write now I'm really getting emotional oh god. I've been writing this since March and it's only 15 chapters my consistent updating skills are really something to envy. (HA) Well this chapter is basically a filler with a bad ending so please please enjoy this masterpiece.

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// cold water, cleaning my wounds

// a sad parade, with a single balloon

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Rian Dawson was really worried.

The main cause of this worry was school, because school causes everyone to worry at some point or another but tests and projects and the lingering intimidation of exams in the near future were keeping him awake at night, and he felt lonely again because his best friends were dating, as he had suspected them to, and now had their attention fully dedicated to each other. And Rian didn't want to sound like a whiny middle schooler but he felt only the tiniest bit of anger towards Jack for taking Alex and all of his attention. Alex had been Rian's friend first. They had actually had conversations, they had hung out, they had enjoyed their time together and then all of a sudden Jack had stuck his head in and Alex didn't seem to want to dedicate any attention to Rian anymore. So, no, Jack hadn't stolen Alex but Alex was pretty much gone and Jack was cool, of course he was, but dear god Rian wished that he had friends of his own. He wished that he had people who willingly wanted to spend time with him, people who wouldn't totally abandon him for their crushes, people wouldn't who know that he was falling apart and completely ignore him after one conversation about how he felt.

Rian needed proper friends.

But he didn't know how to make them, and he had Cass but Cass wasn't someone he wanted to discuss his emotions with because he was trying to make a good impression on her. So while he was busy trying to get Cass to like him, every insecurity that he had been trying to leave behind was making a reappearance and he could pretend like he wasn't feeling suicidal again but he really was and he just felt bad.

So he sat in silence at the lunch table that always seemed to be where he felt the worse. Jack and Alex were giggling about something or other with their faces so close to each other that Rian was wondering how they could even see each other. Jack said something that sent Alex into a laughing mess, which caused Rian to realize that if he needed help, he needed to ask for it. It was obvious that neither of his friends were going to provide any assistance, so he decided to talk to Jack at the end of the day.

Which he did.

Jack had been waiting by Alex's locker as he always did, since Alex couldn't open it. Alex hadn't shown up yet, so both Rian and Jack opted to think that a teacher had just wanted to talk to him about something or other. Nervous but ultimately knowing that he was doing the right thing, Rian took a deep breath and approached Jack, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Oh, hey! What's up?" Jack asked, his tone light hearted, reflecting the opposite of Rian's mood.

"Um. I need to talk to you," Rian muttered, already feeling that whatever he was trying to do was the wrong thing and that he would be fine dealing with his problems by himself.

"You're talking to me. Continue," Jack said, laughing at himself a bit but Rian wasn't in the mood for laughter and his idea had been that he didn't need to talk about wanting to kill himself in the hallway where many other students and teachers were hanging about.

"No, like... not at school. Somewhere else." Jack hesitated, and Rian knew what the answer was going to be so he automatically found himself backing away from the conversation.