Eyes Open ✰ Jalex

6 // You Could Be Happy

Hi! It's been a complete month since I last posted, and I did not realize that. I haven't actually been writing this so much because I'm stuck on an annoying chapter (chapter 8) but hopefully I can get that done fairly soon. Anyways, this story might be on hold for a short amount of time because I'm going to Toronto for around two-ish weeks after school ends (it ends on the 24th) and I won't be able to write or update much there. 

Also

This thing is gonna be 11 chapters long (no more, no less) so I'm sorry if it seems to be moving kind of fast at some points (though I don't feel like it will be) but I'm trying to write it as best as I can.

Last thing- thanks for 200 reads (woo!)

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// and all the things that i wished i had not said

// are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

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The three lonely boys who had formed a hesitant friendship that had soon become steadfast were all alone once again.

Rian was at home wondering how he was so repulsive that his only two friends were these people who easily ditched him and forgot about him as soon as the opportunity came.

Jack was driving home from the airport and wondering why he had been so stupid and ignored his best friends and maybe-even crush, especially when they needed him. Good Charlotte was playing on without Zack's singing, and Jack wished that the boy had never visited. He found himself wanting Zack back more than he ever had; the scar of him originally leaving had been ripped wide open by him leaving again, and this time Jack wasn't going to try to stitch himself back up.

Alex was sitting in his cold bedroom, wishing that his brother was with him. He found himself wishing that more often than he'd like, but who wouldn't spend their time wishing their dead sibling was alive? Alex felt lonely without Jack, but he just wasn't aware of it. He knew that was was lonely and he knew that he was sad, he just didn't know that part of the problem was Jack.

Rian was sitting on his back porch, feeling a strong sense of worthlessness overwhelm him. It was too bright in his room, and he felt trapped when he turned the lights off. It was cold outside, frost and ice developing on the deck, but Rian felt numb and glad that he could breathe freely in the raw air. Yet even breathing was proving to be difficult at this point, and Rian felt like everything seemed to be collapsing around him. He hadn't take the liberty to show up at school for any of the past days, yet neither Jack or Alex seemed to notice or care.

That didn't feel good.

Nothing felt good, and Rian was wondering exactly why his friends could dispose of him that easily. Of course, the boy who Alex had ignored for the first week of school ended up being the only person he cared about, in the end. Jack had just abandoned both of them for some shitty friend who was just going to leave him in another week. It was growing colder by the minute, and Rian's whole body was going numb. He wished he could numb out all of his emotions, but it seemed like only his body was going to be drained of feeling.

At that moment, he wished nothing more than to not feel anything anymore.

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Rian was missing. Jack was fully aware of this now, and was quite panicked over it. Alex was doing a magnificent job of ignoring Jack, and the two sat in a silence that was not ideal for the situation they were in.

"Alex, we need to find Rian. I'm worried." Alex replied with his usual reply, silence. Jack had forgotten how infuriatingly annoying Alex could be at times, and took a deep breath. He felt like Alex wasn't listening to him at all, not even hearing his words.