Loving a Man Who Will Never Be Yours
A heart full of love yet full of pain. Eyes filled with dreams yet shed tears of sorrow. A smile of happiness yet a masquerade of buried mysteries. With Unspoken words waiting to be heard and a crater of questions craving for answers, am living life like a candle in the wind. Never knowing whom to cling to when the rain sets in.
Falling in love is easy but when it comes to falling for someone who will never be yours is a heart rending process. A process where your soul cries out for a miracle to happen even though you know it will never happen, yet you keep on loving with no awe. Some might call me a fool while some, blind, but to me, this feeling am cultivating within is so beautiful, so beautiful that I refuse to let go.
Neither am lost in a cavern of oblivion nor in an ocean of fake hopes. I'm well aware that at the end of the day, I'll only be left with a sinking boat in a vast ocean of tears and pain but the love I'm nurturing like a baby inside, overpowers all the cries and agony. Nothing can be compared to the love I feel for him. My life is connected to each and every beat of his heart. He is the only one with whom I want to walk this beautiful journey of life. No other soul can ever own his throne in my heart.
It was his, it's his, and it will always be his.
A heart broken into million pieces yet when stick together, only his name can be seen - SIHLE. A tape cassette all tangled up yet when untangled; only our song can be played. In the glow of those fatigue eyes, only his face can be seen shining. So here I am, stuck in a maze with two exits, holding on and letting go. I neither want to hold on nor want to let go.
If I opt for the holding on exit, the destination will be a dormant river of awaiting miracle and if I opt for the letting go exit, it will lead me to an ocean of acceptance eventually to a whirlpool of despair.
In this havoc of life where everyone is engaged in a human rat race, am here lost in a crowd where everything looks blurry. For he will never be mine. If only he knew I exist.
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FantasiaLove notes of a love sick girl who has a crush on her police officer friend. *Names of People on the Notes have been charged to protect the identity of Police officer friend*
