Yours, Always

Chapter Thirty Four

On Monday I was standing at my locker, I was half way between dread and anticipation and it was awful. All of a sudden breaking into my thoughts of running for the door and going back to bed someone's arms went around my waist.

"Andrea, I'm so sorry about the other night," James told me kissing my neck.

I snuggle into him because it's what I would normal do without a second thought.

"I know it is no excuse but coach put a lot of pressure on the team on Saturday, then mum and dad were less than happy because coach told them I wasn't top of the team –"

I cut him off because this is serious; he's been number one in the team for years. Well except this one time that we just don't talk about, but we are about to.

"Huh? What happened?" I spin around and question.

"I was second, Tony was 0.45 seconds faster than me."

I shake my head. I know what he's trying here and I'm not buying it.

"Did you go out Friday night?" I ask.

"You are missing the point Andrea." He tells me.

But even though he is trying to apologize I feel like it's not really one, no matter how much stress you are under you still don't take it out on your girlfriend. Especially if it's your fault you are stressed in the first place, it's not like I made him go out and get drunk the night before a competition. Part of me wants to stay and argue with him, argue my point across but I see Bobby going into our first class and lose all fight I had.

"Maybe you are right babe," I tell him.

I give him a kiss and find that I'm bothered when he deepens it because I feel nothing.

"I love you Andrea."

"I love you too," I tell him heading to class expect I'm not so sure anymore.

***

I get to my seat just before the bell goes and the teacher enters the classroom. Bobby's next to me as is the norm now and he takes my hand as soon as I sit down and rubs his thumb in circles over the back of it.

"How are you today?" He asks quietly smiling.

"Better," I tell him because it's true, I feel like I've only just taken my first proper breath since he left on Sunday morning.

***

Me and Bobby are sitting at my usual spot in the cafeteria eating what our school considers food when I see James heading our way.

"Andrea," he calls totally unnecessarily as we've already made eye contact.

"Babe," I smile up at him.

"Can we talk?" he asks not sitting down.

"Yeah sure," I tell him taking a sip of my drink and tucking back into my lunch.

"Maybe not here," he says looking at Bobby.

"Oh Erm..." I say unsure because I'm certain from the look on his face I'm not going to like what he has to say.

"Fine Andrea, let's have it your way. Dave sits behind you guys in history and in English." He tells me.

I look at him totally lost because honestly I have no idea where he is going with this.

"I'm sorry I don't understand what that's got to do with anything." I say looking up at him like he's gone nuts.

"You were holding hands with him for two hours Andrea and you weren't even hiding it. How am I meant to feel!" he says pointing at Bobby.

I instantly let go of Bobby's hand – shit I didn't even realise we were doing that. Even though I hate how empty my hand feels I swear to myself I'll sit on the other side of Bobby from now on. This is just ridiculous.

"I'm sorry James but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." I tell him hoping to get out of this the easy way.

"You weren't holding his hand?" he questions me.

"No James," I say standing and giving him a kiss.

"I'm going to kill Dave." He says and storms off leaving me wondering what exactly I'll say to Dave the next time I see him.

"You are a terrible liar, how on earth does he not see it?" Bobby asks me from behind.

"I'm an excellent liar, you just know I'm lying therefore it's easy for you to hear it in my voice."

"Fine, tell me three things about yourself and make one of them a lie. I'll know which one is the lie I bet you."

I think about it for a minute, wondering what to tell him about myself.

"When I was twelve I was picked to be the lead in the school play. When I was thirteen dad brought me this really good book and I sat in class and read it in a whole day. About a month ago mum told me that she doesn't like James because he isn't you."

I look up at him and he is smiling. "That's too easy. The second one."

"How on earth do you do that, that's crazy?"

"Your mum doesn't like James because he's not me?" Bobby questions totally ignoring my question.

"Apparently, but James is lovely, if she gave him a chance she'd see that."

He eyes me suspiciously.

"As far as I've seen the guys a jerk," Bobby tells me as we walk towards our last class together of the day.

"Well he wasn't before you showed up," I tell him because really apart from the whole lets have sex issue we've never had any problems.

"So he's jealous?" Bobby asks as we sit down and I make sure we are on the wrong side to each too hold hands.

"Yes, don't be a dick about it." I tell him.

The whole lesson is awkward. Miss Burns gives us a pop quiz and we have to sit in silence, which would be fine but me and Bobby are constantly banging elbows and quite honestly I miss his hand like it was my own and that's not ok. I just don't know what to do about it. An hour later the bell goes and me and Bobby head off to separate classes – him P.E and me Geography. Just before we have to part ways he stops and grabs my hand.

"We are never sitting like that again Andy," he tells me and then heads down the corridor to his class.