Poems

It's Hard to Forget

It's hard to forget the things that I did,
When they left marks on me.
Whether outside or within,
On my heart or on my skin.

It's hard to forget what they said,
When it's torn me apart,
Ripping my self esteem in two,
Giving pain where they think it's due.

It's hard to forget how you acted,
When it impacted me so,
The tears that stained my face,
Losing in my own race.

It's hard to forget what I saw,
When I have constant nightmares,
Waking up in fear of what's to come,
I know where these ideas came from.

It's hard to forget why they yelled.
When I try to change myself,
Wanting to be good enough,
Even if the changes are tough.

It's hard to forget why I cried,
When the words still play back,
Replaying each step in my mind,
I can't lie and say I'm fine.

It's hard to forget your reaction,
When you looked so horrified,
Remembering your scared face,
As you saw my mind's darkest place.

It's hard to forget the pain,
When I feel it so often,
Pushing blades into my skin,
Hoping to feel whole again.

It's hard to forget what it's like to lose,
When so many have left me,
Thinking of old memories,
Wishing they could still be with me.

It's hard to forget the names,
When I've heard them so often,
Believing that they are true,
All because of the things they do.

It's hard to forget the past,
When it seems to repeat,
In an endless cycle of hurt,
Breaking nothing but my own heart.

It's hard to forget how I used to be,
When I miss it so often,
Happiness seems so far,
With each new scar.

It's hard to forget people who cared,
When I see them all the time,
I never mattered to anyone,
In the game of happiness, they won.

It's hard to forget what's important,
When it is mostly sad memories,
Wishing for a chance to change,
But knowing I will only stay the same.

It's hard to forget my attempts,
When I remember every word said,
Hope seems just about gone,
I've become nothing but life's pawn.

It's hard to forget the dark thoughts,
When I have them so often,
Asking myself why I am still here,
Living in this constant fear.

It's hard to forget how I was affected,
When I constantly think back to it,
The pain it caused me,
That they didn't care enough to see.

It's hard to forget how I struggled,
When I haven't stopped,
It's as if the water will rise,
Until I have met my bitter demise.

It's hard to forget their expectations,
When society constantly reminds me,
I'll never be good enough for you,
Or never good enough for them, too.

It's hard to forget that I'm not pretty,
When the mirror is always saying,
That I need to lose a few,
And pointing out all of my flaws, too.

It's hard to forget the times I've fallen,
When the words spoken by my lips,
Are tainted with the pain I've had,
A broken smile and eyes that are sad.

It's hard to forget when I've failed,
When I find myself at a loss,
Unhappy with my work,
What I accomplished is solely murk.

It's hard to forget why I feel this way,
When so often people tell me why,
Faltering when I should be strong,
I cannot survive this long.