Fixing Louis

Chapter 18

Louis pov

I can't believe I told her that! I just ruined my chances with her. but I mean its not like I love her, I was drunk that one night. the only one girl that I will and ever love is Eleanor. Now she is going to stay with Niall or Harry. oh god I hope she doesn't tell Harry about my cutting its bad enough Niall knows, but he wouldn't say anything he's my mate.

I watch as Jessica runs up to Cole. Her blonde hair which by the I think is was dyed because of the way her roots are brown.

"Hey Cole, how come grandpa didn't come?" Jess asked picking him up and walking back over to me.

They look alike, but his hair it's like a strawberry brown color. I wonder if the dad was a red head?

"Hey Cole this is Louis he is your uncle! Say hi Cole." Jess smiles as her green eyes quickly glance at me with something that looks like hurt and sadness.

"Hewwo Lewis!!!!" He screeches and reaches for me. Well he isn't shy at all. He has her eyes they are almost exactly her color except with a little bit of blue in them his hair is straight like Jess.

Jess hands me Cole "hey buddy!" I hold him and he crawls around to my back where he clings onto my neck. We walk back to the car and we pretend I'm a horse and he's the rider.

I turn around and look at jess who looks like she's about to cry.

I turn back around and we get to the car and I buckle Cole up and open the passenger door for Jess. She ignores me and climbs in. I walk around the car rolling my eyes "oh my god" why are girls so complicated! Ugh!

I hop in the driver seat and start the car. We drive in silence as Cole sings the alphabet. Jessica smiles as he sings both me and Jess turn our heads to watch him for not even 30 seconds.

"LOUIS THE TRU-" *bang* glass is shattering every where. Cole is crying. Jess is silent. It's going so fast i can't think. I try to find jess hand, but my whole body is in pain I can't move without my body screaming in pain. I try to speak out but nothing comes. After a few painful minutes I find her hand, my hand moves to her wrist were I check for her pulse she has one. It's nearly gone but she has one, all I see is darkness. It's to painful to open my eyes. No physically but mentally.

I can here Cole crying, he's alive thank God. I think i can hear people screaming, Sirens I can hear sirens to but one thing I hear is Cole he is yelling mommy over and over again. My hand tightens on her hand and then everything goes black.

*dream*

"Louis babe it's me Eleanor I've missed you so much love!" Eleanor runs to me engulfing me in a hug.

I'm silent for a little bit and then I ask "El why did you leave me?"

"Boobear there were only to reasons why I left, just like Perrie I couldn't take the hate from the fans I tried and I tried but it was impossible to just ignore it! I couldn't see how you and the boys could but I couldn't. " El said rubbing my hand as we sat down.

"You said there were to reasons what's the other one El?" I ask lookng into her eyes that I fall in love with every time I see them.

"When you were in that major car crash with the boys and the drunk driver hit you. The doctors said you weren't going to make it and that they were gong to pull the plug so I though that this was the perfect time to kill myself. I would be with you, and I could get away from the hate. As soon as they asked me if I wanted to say I said no and walked to the janitor closet and took all of the pills that was for your bipolar disease. You were asleep in that place for almost a years Louis I keep the pills that you had and a couple of bottles of Advil just in case it was time." She stopped there.