A shattered soul (William x reader)

3

William sat at his desk doing paper work. He was waiting for word from the higher ups to see whether he could let (y/n) go on her first job as a fully fledged reaper. She ran in panting and sat on the chair. He looked at her and put his pen down.
"I haven't heard word yet (y/n)" He said. You sighed.
"Well could I go with you on your next job?" You asked. He looked at you and then noticed you had a new death scythe. He hinted at the scythe and you showed him it. 
"May i?" he asked and you nodded and handed it to him. "A Wakizashi. Why did you choose this as a death scythe?" 
"I like the design and idea behind them. They are light and small and easy to wield. A katana was going to be my first choice because they are weapons that warriors wield but then I thought about it and it was either going to be a Wakizashi or a Tanto but I chose the Wakizashi" You explained.
"Fascinating" Will said. "You may come with me on my next job. Might I asked, why red?" He was referring to the sheaf and handle to the blade.
"I made friends with Grell and he suggested it" you shrugged. You didn't think much of the colour but it did go well with the blade. 

Will watched his victim. A 3 year old boy who was with his 7 year old sister. They were collecting flowers for their parents. Both were to lose there life today. You gritted your teeth knowing they were going to have to die. You swallowed hard which caught William's attention.
"It's just a job" He spoke. You looked at him. "There is no need for emotions here." Your breath was shaky.
"How can you say that? There is going to be emotion for their parents. How do you think they are going to feel? How would you feel if it was your children that were about to die?" You teared up.
"I don't have children, nor do i intend to in the future"  He said coldly standing up. "Its time." You looked at the children. They stood up with the flowers and waved to their parents. Your heart broke. A carriage came flying around the corner, horse going crazy. The carriage flew off the road and went hurdling towards the children. You closed your eyes as it hit them. The mother screamed and they both went to the children. A guy climbed out of the upturned carriage, he had a few cuts on his face and a badly sprained leg. He got away lucky. Them children were on deaths door step. You and Will collected the souls quickly and got away, at which point you burst into tears.
"Too young" you said shakily. 

You felt arms go around you and looked up to see William hugging you. 
"Like I said before, it is just a job, emotions don't need to get in the way. In this job you need to learn to leave emotions behind you when you come out onto the field because other wise it will just make the job unbearable for you" He told you.
"William T Spears are you showing affection towards me?" You giggled and he rolled away. He let go and turned away. 
"I expect you at work by 8 am tomorrow morning, their is a lot of paperwork on your desk" William said and walked away. That seems more like the William T Spears you know. Cold and only caring about work. He seems a bit like your dad, though you knew your dad's soft side very well and you were yet to see if William has a soft side. 

William went home and thought about what (y/n) had said to him before the job.  "How would you feel if it was your children that were about to die?" Well how would he feel? He didn't know. He hadn't felt anything in such a long time. His response about not having children and him not attending to have any in the future was for a reason. Having children would mean finding love, and the one day possibly losing that love. That is something he doesn't want to have to go through. Once, a very long time ago, he thought about getting with Grell. He is so glad that he didn't, that moment could have possible ruined his life and he regrets ever thinking about it. Its hard for him to think that he got that desperate for love that he nearly turned to Grell. Now a days he doesn't care much about that emotion. Love. Its just a four letter word to him, and yet its starting to rise up again and he doesn't know why. Who does he like like that? Who has he fallen for? No one pops straight into his mind but it is still there. He was going to have to figure this out soon.