A Narration from the Brain of Jewel Quinn

Chapter 2: Ball and freaking Chain man

Chapter 2: Ball and freaking Chain, man

Tuesday, June 24, 5p.m.

"Ryan's really nice."

Yeah, right. He's nice if you're Jenny Moffat. He's nice if you weren't caught in the crosshairs of his love affairs.

He's not so nice if he makes you do his chores in EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY in exchange of driving lessons with him. Driving lessons you didn't even want but were forced to have because you crashed a golf cart into a fence.

He's not so nice if he tries everything in his power to humiliate and demeen you.

"Yeah, he's really neat." I lied.

I don't know why I haven't told Jenny. About the whole- Ryan making my life miserable every chance he got, I mean. It's not like I'm embarrassed by it, well not much anyway. I mean me----5"7 , green peace activist, Nikita fan and karate-kid-movie-loving, feminist Jewel Quinn---- being bullied.

It's not like anyone would believe me anyway. Ryan Oaks is well, Ryan Oaks. The town golden boy. The swimmer who won Nationals 3 times in a row and who was eligible to try out for the olympic swim team. The son of the mayor. The genius who aces his AP classes and was a shoe in for all the ivy league schools in the country. The one who the whole town thought was too good to be dating my friend Jenny.

Coupled with the fact that my own parents think that I have an overactive imagination and a pathological need to invent drama in my life. There is a less than zero chance of anyone ever even hearing me out.

I couldn't let Jenny feel guilty of something that was all my fault. I came up with the plan that indirectly "embarrassed" him. But I had to do something. Jenny obviously wasn't happy dating robotic Ryan. It was also obvious that he didn't care that much about her. And he was so BORING.

I don't think I've ever even seen them kiss or hold hands. Something must be incredibly wrong if two horny teenagers never get caught making out.

I saw Blake Lee stick his tongue down Stephanie Lucerne's mouth yesterday. I had this close-up view of it, since they were making out on the seat beside me during drivers ed class. It was really gross.

But I don't think I'd mind if Blake kissed me like that. I've been crushing on him ever since I started coming here for the summer.

I even picked up a sample of Ralph Lauren's Noir the other day, which Tina swears he uses. Just so I can smell Blake in the privacy of my own room.

The truth was that when Blake was away from his friends, he was really sweet. I know because I can just tell from staring into his green eyes, for the three seconds he asked if I had a pencil in drivers ed, that there was a sensitive soul just waiting to break free.

"I really am sorry I got you involved in all of this." Jenny said pushing a lock of light brown hair behind her ear. "But I'm relieved not to have everyone in town watching my every move. Remember last summer, when people would come up to me and tell me random facts about Ryan."

This is why I can't tell her. She is the sweetest girl ever.

Even the most dedicated Ryan groupie knows this, which is why the whole town doesn't treat her like a social pariah. No that honor falls upon me.

"Yeah. That was unnerving to say the least," I said."We couldn't even walk down the street without someone stopping to ask us if we knew that Ryan had an IQ of 140 or that won Nationals 3 years in a row."

"Ryan is... He's the closest the universe has gotten to creating the perfect man. I'll never measure up." she said with a sigh, settling on the couch next to me.

I snorted.

If everyone knew how the town's golden boy operated on a daily basis, they wouldn't be so quick to sing him praises. Because the thing is no one knew. They all thought he was a saint who could do no wrong.

"I have to get going." Jenny said gathering her things. "I have to stop by Bigelows to buy a pregnancy test for my mother."

I truly believe that Jenny's parents are going for the state record for child production. If her mother is pregnant again, it would be their sixth child. Officially making them the largest family in this town, not counting the Finnelys who had eight children, but who's trailer is hovering on the border of two towns to escape paying taxes.

Well, at least they didn't leave Jenny and her siblings to spend every summer with relatives so they can tour around the world on their "honeymoon". Relatives who weren't even really related to me aside from my aunt and her offspring, who were off to Florida for the summer. So the only people they actually left me with was Ryan, his parents and grandfather.

Which is evidence that my parents don't know what they're doing. I know a lot of people feel this way about their parents, but in my case, this is actually true.

They were hippies in the 80s that decided to start a family. Leaving me with friends and relatives for the summer wasn't a new thing. My parents tend to go around the world and protest various issues. Sometimes on the nude.

It's a good thing I'm an only child or me and my siblings would have been taken away by child services a long time ago for negligence.

"Nooooo." I groaned. I was hoping to avoid going to my uncle's house all together. Maybe I could rent a trailer. I could live like the Finnely's and go from town to town escaping tax collectors. Maybe my parents would even be proud of me for fighting the system and standing up to the "man".

"It can't be that bad." Jenny said opening her car door. "I'll even drop you off."

"That would just get me home even faster." I whined.

"You stay with them every summer. They can't be that bad."

No just the spawn of satan living in the same roof.

********

CHORES I HAVE TO DO FOR THE BEAST (also known as Ryan Oaks)

1. Buy dog food

2. Drop off laundry

3. Wake up at 6am to clean his car before he goes off to hockey practice

4. Help out with preparation of the Mission Fair (I think this just gives him an excuse to boss me around)

5. Clean the hall closet

6. Arrange the garage

7. Cook him breakfast, dinner and all meals in between

8. Work at Twirling Swirl (and give him 100% of your salary)

9. Be a slave to his every whim and fancy

Consequences of failure to do so: Call my Parents.

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