A Narration from the Brain of Jewel Quinn

My Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Pink Bikini

Chapter 12: My Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Pink Bikini

I am going to kill him. I really am going to slay the beast this time. How could he tell Odette to get me ready for a beach party?!

I was currently sitting on the bathroom counter top of Odette's bathroom staring at her in bewilderment. Is she insane? Is she completely nuts? Does she have the slightest idea at what she was asking me to do?

Evidently she did, because the next thing I knew I was standing there in a bikini that consisted of pink scraps of material tied together in what looked like floss.

But I didn't have to worry about having to stop myself from saying something that would evidently lead her to commiting murder with one of her make up tools, because Odette immediately zoned in on everything wrong with me.

"Why are you wearing combat boots with a bikini? Why are those nails black? Why does your hair look like limp seaweed? Is it your goal in life to live like a hunchback, can't you stand straight, Jewel? Do you have a genetic disorder, we don't know about?"

Only it sounded even worse, because it was all in German.

And even worse, she asks in her snarky beauty pageant voice, "Didn't your parents teach you any manners? A kiss in each cheek is a compulsory greeting in polite society. It's something a Mission Hill princess should do."

So I go up to her and stare at the botox-blown up cheek I'd have to pucker my lips against. She didn't wait and pulled my face down to her cheek where my lips physically bounced off her cheek and repeated the motion to the other side.

That was when I got a peek of Henry wearing a sweater that matched the color of Odette's paisely purple scarf. Odette always wears purple. Desiree says people who wear purple a lot have borderline personality disorders, because they have delusions of granduer.

Traditionally, only royalty was allowed to even use the color purple to set them apart from the surfs.

Only, I should have pointed out to Desiree, that Odette was technically royalty. She has won a pretty hefty amount of titles in her younger days. A reminder that stared me right in the face, as I looked at all the portraits of Odette had of herself buffeted around her pink bathroom walls.

Henry, a cat that reminded me of Lucifer from Cinderella, was swishing his tail as he watched in delight at my suffering.

If Noah had ever met Henry, he'd have thought twice about letting two of God's creatures into the ark.

"Now," Odette says while brushing peach eyeshadow over my lids. "Ryan tells me that you hid in the poolhouse while we were all looking for you last night. Why is that?"

All of a sudden, I got really tired and sat down on the padded chair below her vanity table. "Odette, you know as well as I do that I am not pageant material. So why don't we cut our losses before it becomes a big deal?"

Odette stared at me below her tatooed eyelids. I could tell that she wanted to kill me but couldn't figure out a way to clean the blood from the white carpet.

"You will be the next Mission Hill princess. Just like how every candidate I've ever hosted has won before you." she said in a very serious voice, her eyes glowing manically over the glow of the lightbulbs set around the mirror.

Oh boy.

"Look, Odette. How long is this gonna take?" I said trying not to cry as she jabbed a black kohl in the corner of my eye. "I still have to actually get to the beach and help Ryan to woo the new guy."

She just looked at me and went cryptically. "As long as it takes."

I pretty much shut up after that. I really didn't have a choice did I? Odette totally scared me, with her tattooed eyelids and all. I couldn't not do what she said.

Plus the yellow lightbulbs that bounced off the fuschia pink walls gave an eerie glow to her whole face making her seem a little more unhinged than usual. She was also weilding sharp metallic things near my eyes and you DO NOT mess with anyone who is capable of rendering you blind with a slight of hand. Especially if that someone is a DERANGED beauty queen.

So I did what I could to stay out of her way for the most part.

"And now for the final touch." she said placing a white flower on my hair before clapping her purple tipped hands in glee.

I looked at myself in the vanity mirror for the first time since this whole process.

Oh God.

.....................................

Ode to the Psychotic Beauty Queen

(Odette the Psychotic Beauty Queen)

She knows the color wheel from salmon to magenta,

Colors that would induce anyone to severe diarhea.

Sipping cups with pinkies in the air,

Toes and fingers in a sparkly pair.

Hairspray and bobby pins make her day,

Things that would make my head sway,

Oh Odette Pennel! Can't you just go away.

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I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. I've been swamped with midterms and long exams as of late and for that I apologize.

Hope you enjoyed this little snippet! More later ;)

-jukeboxjunkie ✊rock on!