Unwanted

Chapter 19

Recap:

"Nicole?!" I heard a voice shout my name. But it sounded so faint I wasn't sure.

"Nicole!" I heard again, but the voice was closer this time. Was someone out there? They have to leave! Whoevers out there might get hurt!

"You have to get out of here." I muttered. My head hurt to much to shout. I just wanted to make it go away.

"No. No. Not without you." The voice replied. Without me? I'm already gone, don't they see that?

"It feels better this way." I whispered. The pain in my head started going away with the wind and earth getting closer and closer to me.

"Nicole I know it may feel better. But you have to keep fighting. You have to." The voice sounded desperate now.

"Your wrong. I don't have anything left to fight for." I whispered back.

The sky opened up with rain. Hard cold droplets fell onto my face. But I was glad. The cold water relived some of the pain in my head.

I tried looking for the owner to the voice. But all I saw was dust covering all around me, it was flying everywhere.

"I-I think I'm ready to go now." Maybe I haven't lived a full life. But that's okay. I didn't need one. I saw that then. I didn't need to live a full live. I don't think I was meant to. Some people are meant to live long happy lives, but some aren't so lucky. Maybe this was my destiny. It felt better.

"No. No. No. NO!" The voice shouted. But it was to late.

I was already gone.

Chapter 19

Reflecting. That simple word could mean so much in such little time. But reflecting on what? A homework assignment maybe? The day? Or how about reflecting on life? Have I ever done that? Of course I have. But it's not like I even got to live a long life anyway, what was there to reflect? 

Chapter 19

Void. Empty. Numb. Cold. Darkness.  These thoughts kept repeating in my head. Thoughts? Did you even have thoughts when you died? I asked myself. Am I dead? Is this the afterlife? An entire different world centered on darkness? 

Something cold touched my forehead. I flinched. I was already cold, I didn't need something else making me colder. 

I tried to open my eyes to see what had happened, but it was like they we sewed shut. 

"Nicole?" A voice whispered, almost pleadingly. 

Maybe that's an angel, planning to take me away to a better place. 

My body was suddenly being shaken, "Nikky!" A voice yelled. My eyes jerked open only to be greeted by a pair of honey colored eyes and perfect blonde hair. 

"Jared?" I asked confused, trying to sit up and look around. What I saw made me gasp out loud. The trees were all lying face down facing away from us in a circle. It looked like a tornado went through it. 

"What the hell happened here?" I turned to Jared. 

But he wasn't looking at the trees, he was staring at me in a way that made my cheeks heat with fire and pull my head down so my hair covered my face. 

"You-I-No-You-I was coming out to find you when this giant gust of wind and rain was just hurdling down. I didn't know what was happening. But when I got here you were just lying here. Nic-Nicole...you weren't breathing." Jared said quietly. 

I stopped breathing? I all remember was going on a run...and getting really frustrated. 

I jumped up. "You! Oh! Get away from me!" My eyes opened in realization, remembering why I was running and so stressed out. 

"This is all your fault! Before you moved here everything was fine..." I started running my hands through my hair and gripping it. 

Jared looked exhausted and worn out. His shoulders slumped from where he was kneeling in the dirt, where only a moment ago I was in his lap. I blushed.

But after I said that Jared eyes lit up in anger and he jumped to his feet and rushed me, grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. "Fine!? What in God's name is your definition of "fine" because from where I'm standing your life is far from "fine." He laughed, but it wasn't amused, it was dark. 

I started stepping back but he wouldn't let go of my shoulders. "Let go of me!" I cried out. "No!" He roared, "I am sick of you pretending everything's "fine" because it's not!" 

I jerked my shoulders free with more force than necessary. My eyes glistered with unshed tears, "Then what do you have me do!? Huh? All mighty Jared. Always right. Well guess what! Your wrong! I don't pretend everything's fine! I know it's not! God! How wouldn't I know? I live with the very definition that is NOT fine. So thank you very much Jared for pointing out how messed up my life is, really, you've given me new perspective." I said sarcastically, with venom lacing my voice. 

Jared jerked his shoulders back like I'd hit him. "God everything is so screwed up," he muttered. 

I faked bowed to him, "Once again your wisdom is so great!" I scoffed, and turned around in the direction of my house. 

I heard his footsteps behind me, "Wait! Hold up. We're not going to finish this?" He asked.

I turned around abruptly, "Finish wait exactly? There is no "this" no "us" so why don't you do us both a favor and leave me the hell alone, you haven't helped at all. You've only made it worse." 

His shock and hurt written expression was all I needed to see. I turned and started walking towards my house again. He'd leave me alone now, I knew it for certain. I should feel better about this. 

Then why did I feel so bad?