Unwanted

Chapter 12

Time. Time usually passes uneventfully for me, except with my mother of course. I never noticed time passing, I wasn't living, I was numb, always numb, always running, running away from everything. Maybe it was time for a change.

Chapter 12

After I finally managed to stop crying all over Jared, I took a quick shower, and changed into some gray sweatpants and a big T-Shirt.

I expected Jared to be gone when I got out of the bathroom, but I was shocked to see he wasn't. Instead he was casually laying on my bed, reading one of my books. I gasped when I saw the title. "The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window" by Moseley, Kristy. That was my favorite book!

"Jared! That's my favorite book! You better not rip any pages!" I whisper-yelled.

Jared chuckled. "I'm not. Chill. Not a bad book. I'm on chapter 10." Jared replied.

"You like it?" I questioned suspiciously. He was a guy after all, and this book was more for women.

"Its interesting." He said simply, without looking at me. My eyebrows rose in surprise. I smiled teasingly.

"Oh Jared! You want Amber and Liam to get together don't you?" I cooed, teasing him.

Jared chuckled nervously. And finally looked up at me, I almost forgot what we were talking about because I got lost in his honey colored eyes. He was saying something but I couldn't hear.

"....belong together." Jared was saying.

"Hmm?" I questioned, coming out of my faze.

Jared laughed. "I said that Amber and Liam belong together." Jared said.

"You believe in true love?" I asked surprised.

I walked to sit on the edge of my bed, crossing my legs over each other.

"Of course. Who doesn't?" Jared asked.

"I don't know, you just don't strike me as the romance kind of guy." I shrugged.

Jared eyebrow rose in question. "Really? What do I strike you as then?" He asked suspiciously.

"A player." I said. Never breaking eye contact with him.

Jared laughed. "A player really?" Jared asked while laughing.

My eyebrows furrowed together. "Yes." I said confidently. "You just don't strike me as a one women kind of guy. You've probably had tons of 'girlfriends.'" I made quotation marks with my fingers for "girlfriends"

Jared smirked. "Actually I've only had three girlfriends. I'm a one women kind of guy." He said.

"Really?" I asked surprised. I really was surprised. I never would have guessed. He was just so cocky, you'd think he'd he a player. Especially with how good looking he was.

"But how?" I asked, laughing after because I realized how stupid my question sounded.

He laughed with me. "It's pretty easy actually, I just keep Mr. Junior down here in my pants." He stated smirking at me smugly.

I tried to contain my laughter, but failed miserably. I bursted out laughing.

"You-y-you n-named your d-dick?" I said between my laughing fit.

"Yes?" Jared said cockily.

"Oh my god. I'm literally dying!" I tried controlling my laughter and it died down eventually.

"I love your laugh." Jared said quietly, looking at me intently.

I blushed. "Thank you." I whispered. I looked over at the clock to distract myself and realized it was getting late. It was almost 12:00pm!

"It's getting late Jared, you should probably go home." I muttered.

I didn't really want him to leave, but I knew he had to.

I almost forgot how sucky my life was when I was just fooling around and joking with Jared. I felt normal. For the first time in eight years. And I knew it was bad, because once Jared left, if I became to attachment to him, I'd be a shell of what I am know. I already am a shell, but he'd break me completely. I couldn't let that happen.

"Your right." Jared seemed like he didn't want to go either, or maybe I was just imagining it?

I shook the thought out of my head, of course I was imagining it, Jared doesn't like he, we're suppose to hate each other. Today was a mistake. Did he see it that way to? I bet he did, I'm a pathetic excuse for a girl, I'm surprised he hasn't thrown up from my ugly site.

"Nicole? What are you thinking?" Jared asked, confused.

I kept my face blank and showed no emotion. "Nothing." I replied, with nothing in my voice. A few minutes ago, there was joy. It's weird how fast things can change.

"You should go." I replied with a cold voice.

Jared looked at me confused and I thought I saw a flash of pain go through those eyes of his, but it left as quickly as I saw it.

Jared walked to my screen door, without once looking back, he opened and closed the door behind him walking to his screen door.

I looked down at my hands, scolding myself. I didn't have to be so cold to him. I instantly regretted it, but I knew it was best in the long haul, for both of us.

~.~

I dreamed I was being chased, Jared was with me, encouraging me to go faster, while running beside me. But I couldn't keep up and the next think I know, the man who was chasing us, caught up to us and shot Jared in the head, he fell limply beside me.

I woke up with a scream, shaking I jumped out of bed and ran outside the screen door. I couldn't take in deep breathes of air. I think I was having a panic attack! I couldn't get the image of Jared's broken face out of my mind. I couldn't imagine him like that. If he was dead... No I couldn't think like that. He's not even my boyfriend, he's not my anything. We aren't anything, and I think that information broke me even more.

Damn it! I knew this would happen! Jared saw only a tiny glimpse of my world, I think he freaked out, well more like I freaked out. But I had a right to! He didn't get to know everything. Because if I let him in, and he left, that would be the end of it for me. I couldn't have anymore people leaving me. I couldn't stand it.

So lost in my thoughts I didn't notice that it started raining, drizzling. I should go inside, I thought. But I loved the rain, and it barely ever rained here. I loved thunder storms, I just liked water itself, and the lightning that always managed to lite up the sky.

But tonight just seemed different, dangerous, like I shouldn't be out here at all. I furrowed my eyebrows, where did that thought come from?

I started getting this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. This all felt wrong, the sky lit up from the lightning and the thunder roared, it felt like it was mad. Mad at something, or someone? The sky opened up again and more thunder sounded, harder this time. I flinched from the noise. It was so loud!

I started backing away and turned to my door, only something else caught my eye. It was next door. I squinted my eyes to see what it was and a figure moved, Jared. As he looked at me, my breath caught, he was so angry, his eyes were glaring at me with such fury I shook with terror. His eyes, were what really caught my attention, they seemed to of changed. They weren't honey colored anymore, more like a grayish black, like the sky.

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