Memories

1:43pm

I never want to let go of you, but I'm afraid of everything that comes with you.
You see, I'm not sure what to make if the feelings that surge through my chest and create endless circles of emotion. It's like you build a clock of me, putting the cogs in place before taking a step backward and letting me deal with them. It's not that you don't want to help me figure them out, but you don't know what to do with them either.
I've never had a proper love that makes me feel the way you constantly do. You make me question myself and wonder about things I never would have laid a thought upon. You make me want more of a touch that can stain my skin with lust and love.
When I'm not with you I feel a sudden way of desperation to have you close to me. Touching my skin, setting me on fire with your gentle touch. As if I were gasoline then you'd be the lighter. Starting the fire sending me into a destructive of my own self. Though that would have to be one disaster I would allow to ruin me completely.
I love you so much and I know this was all just a big mess of my feelings and I'm sorry but god you make me feel a big ole mess.