Memories

She's an angel

PSA;
NOT MINE BUT A GREAT FRIEND OF MINES. DO NOT TAKE.

When I was little I was so scared so many things like the boogeyman, big bad wolf, ghosts, monsters. But now that I'm a teenager I'm so scared of not getting a good GPA, not graduating, not being accepted into college, falling in love...a lot. You see everyone has their own little world that is purple, blue, rainbow that's filled with unicorns, candy, Kings and queens. But my world was black and white, no rainbows, no unicorns, no kinds or queens. I say my world WAS black and white, because when He came into my life everything changed. It was like watching that Mary Poppins movie where it's black and white before she jumps into the water puddle and then everything is in color.

I watch him jump into my water puddle. My world. Then i watched as the once black and white world I knew burst with color. Lavender, pink, blue, green, yellow. I stomped over to him and was about to yell at him for destroying my world with his light of colors when his chocolate brown eyes locked with my blue ones. I was captured. Every angry word that was going to pour threw my lips never came, instead I backed up built a wall between us. Everyday I saw him walk up to my wall with a hammer and everyday he would hit that stupid hammer against my wall. I got so frustrated. After I finally got to know him I slowly welcomed him in, I made it easier for him to break my wall.

When he was finally in I started getting scared because you see, you never get to pick who you fall in love with. Or who chooses to fall in love with you. All you get to choose is if you jump into this reckless hopeless thing they call love or miss out of what could be one of the most amazing adventures of your life time. But the question I asked myself is why? Why does he scared me? Why does love scared me? Because if he loves me then he can un love me. He scared to the point of no return. I've let him farther in than I have anyone.

I've giving him and his chocolate brown eyes the power to kill me, because you see he makes me smile and laugh. I never knew what color my hair was until he stepped into my world. I never knew the difference between two superheroes before him. He makes me cry sometimes...but he also makes me mad, just like I make him mad and happy and smile. Wanna know a secret? I love his laugh, his real laugh. I love his singing, I love his smile. I love the way his eye light up when he's talking about something he cares about. I love his chocolate brown eyes.

But I don't know what he likes about me. I know he likes when I'm smiling or laughing and I try to talk, I know he likes the way I walk. But I have these issues, I keep thinking he's going to abandon me, or leaving me. Or that once he sees what a mess I am that he'll leave. That he isn't as attached as I am. I'm so attached to him it's scary. I guess you could say he's like a rollercoaster.