Destiel Imagines

13. nightmares

warning - mentions of depression.

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Cas was falling apart, and Dean knew it. He had bad dreams every single night - he almost never slept. He rarely ate. "You can't live on caffeine and meds forever, Cas, you're human now," Dean tried to tell him, but the once-angel just ran a hand through his messy hair and looked at Dean with eyes that were so heavy with sadness that Dean didn't have the heart to continue.

Cas woke himself in the middle of the night, screaming and thrashing in Dean's arms. Dean gripped his angel tight, struggling to keep him from hurting himself. "Cas!" he shouted. "Cas, it was just a dream, it's okay now! You're safe!"

Cas finally went limp, calming down - or giving up. Dean wasn't sure which. With a small sound that was almost a whimper, Cas shrank into the hunter's embrace. His shoulders shook. Was he - crying?

"Cas?" Dean whispered in a tentative voice. He hugged Cas tighter. "Hey, shh, it's okay, babe. It's gonna be okay."

"D-Dean," sobbed Cas, "Dean."

"What's wrong, Cas? What happened?"

"It - it was a nightmare. You died. You died in my arms and I couldn't save you, I tried but I just, without my powers I couldn't..." Cas made a choked sound, his whole body trembling. "You hated me, you told me you hated me and then you died. It was my fault. It was all my fault."

"Cas, it's okay, it wasn't real. It's just a nightmare. I'm here and I'm alive and I love you, baby, I love you so much. I'll always be here."

"I can't do this. I'm dying, I'm already dead. I'm not an angel anymore, I'm not anything. I'm worthless."

"You are not worthless," said Dean firmly. "You're beautiful, Cas. You may not be an angel, but you're an angel to me. And I love you, Cas. I love you so damn much."

Dean held Cas until his shaking subsided, nestling his face against Cas's neck and whispering beautiful things in his ear. Castiel's breathing steadied, and finally he fell asleep in Dean's arms, his tears drying on his face. Dean cuddled closer to the one he'd fallen in love with, finally relaxing and letting himself drift off to sleep.

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[author's note]

so there's today's imagine, hopefully I can update soon. please remember to vote if you enjoyed the chapter, it really means a lot to me! thanks so much for reading, love you!