Misconceptions

ten months later

I saw you today.

As she exited the subway, she frantically began to walk, already late for work. She quickly made her way towards the station's exit, her bag sluggishly hanging on one shoulder, moving back and forth with every abrupt movement she made as she walked past all the people around her.

Suddenly, her gaze fixed on that familiar figure. She could only see his back, and his haircut was different from what it used to be, but she couldn't mistake that outfit and that walk. It had to be him—but she didn't want it to be.

She prayed it was just another stranger in the crowd, clearly not prepared to face him again. She didn't think she'd ever actually be prepared for that situation. In fact, she never really thought she'd have to be. After all, she wasn't planning on ever seeing him again. There was no reason to and, in all honesty, their paths seemed to be parallel. She couldn't really think of any situation in which they would have to see each other again.

Yet, there she stood, knowing deep inside, that there was a ninety percent chance that it was him, indeed.

Her stomach turned into a knot and her heart beat increased tremendously when she finally got a glimpse of his face. Her whole body suddenly felt cold.

She stopped dead in her tracks for a second, not quite sure what she was supposed to do when she reached him. She couldn't just be rude and walk away if he spotted her. Although things were over, they never really were. The thought of that drove her insane. It messed with her emotional OCD. She hated being in the 'no closure' status. They had made up but, after a while, the bond simply faded. And even then, they weren't on bad terms—but they weren't on good ones either. She had no right to be rude, but she also didn't feel obliged to be extra friendly.

When she finally caught up to him, his eyes immediately locked with hers. She felt her breath hitch inside her chest, her heart suddenly feeling a thousand pounds heavier. Her whole body was shaking on the inside, but anyone on the outside would see her as you would the morning ocean waves—calm.

A smile instantly made its way onto his lips, and it struck her when it reached his eyes. It was genuine.

She wanted to punch him.

How dare he have the audacity to seem happy to see her when he never seemed to be when they typed away on their phones, never even making the effort to keep the conversation going anymore?

She was tangled in a web of bittersweet thoughts as she stood before him, feeling the need to cry and hug him, all at the same time.

"What is wrong with me?" She thought, as her blood began to boil.

She was mad at herself for allowing such thoughts to even cross her mind. She had promised herself he didn't matter anymore. That their circumstances didn't really affect her anymore—and in a way, it was true. She really did think she didn't care anymore.

So why was she feeling all these things? Did not caring really feel like that? Last time she checked, feeling nothing certainly didn't feel like this.

"Oh, hey." He breathed, his eyes looking at her from bottom to top.

It had been ten months since they'd last seen each other. Things were so different now, but she was still as pretty as he remembered.

Her long brown hair looking slightly healthier now that she had curled it, instead of leaving the messy mane-looking hair she'd always had. And there were golden highlights he hadn't noticed in the past, or maybe he had—he just didn't pay much attention before, always too involved in himself to ever really take in what she had to offer.

He smiled even wider as he saw her wearing a simple dress. He could tell she was going somewhere important because really, she had always hated dresses. It had to be something big if she had given into wearing one.

"Oh, hi." She looked away for a second, too nervous to maintain eye contact. Then, once she regained her composure, her eyes looked right into his again.

Both of them seemed as if they were trying to find some kind of answer in each other's. They both knew that eyes reveal secrets the mouth will never tell, but in that moment, none of them could quite figure out what they were seeing.

The smile still didn't leave his face and she felt a wave of nostalgia come over her, remembering all the moments in which he gave her that exact same look.

However, the nostalgia was soon overcome with anger, and she shook off all the thoughts swimming around in her mind.

"Uh, bye," she quickly said, breaking eye contact and hitting him with the peace sign, her walk already beginning to speed up. She wasn't sure why—out of all things—she gave him the peace sign, but she heard him chuckle lightly.

"Bye," he finally said, and she didn't bother looking back at him.

In that moment, she realized that despite all the feelings she felt in the span of about ten seconds, she knew she was finally over him. And she could finally breathe.

She finally felt free of the chains of a nonexistent love holding her down.