Something New

Chapter 7

Today was Friday, Connor is coming over today to study for the English test. He hasn't brought up the whole going out with him topic which I'm grateful for. I haven't yet come to terms on my feelings but lately I've been letting myself think about Connor in a more... Romantic way? I don't know how these relationship things work. From what I've seen with Todd and Lily it doesn't seem so bad. Especially when thinking about Connor. Yes I've allowed myself to think about Connor as possibly being more than a friend. It was unsettling at first because my thoughts would always end up back to my dream (Which I'm happy to say was the only one) and leaving me feeling self concious and scared because I definitely was not ready for something that intense. It's getting easier though, and it's nice.

Todd didn't bring up our conversation either, after he left that afternoon he kind of just decided to give me my space. I'm very grateful for that as well. Time alone to think really helped. I even have somewhat civilized conversation with that little annoying voice.

I am a part of you so I know when you talk shit...

I'm not insane I swear! Back to the topic at hand though.

My stomach has been kicking my ass all day. I can't help but be nervous when it comes to Connor. Especially when it comes to us being alone. If he does ask me out I'm going to just say whatever comes into my mind first. It could be a yes and it could be a no.

It's going to be a --

DingDong-DingDong.

The doorbell silences the little voice. Connor must be here now. My palms instantly soak. With every step towards the front door my heart rate picks up. My mouth goes dryer than a desert but I stay calm on the outside. Christ Dustin calm down, you're just studying! I'm studying with Connor. Flirty unpredictable Connor. My hand wraps around the cold doorknob and I open the door. Connor stands there with his toothy smile and obvious bedhead which looks very attractive on him. He's wearing a plain white T-Shirt with a thin light blue sweater and black cargo shorts. His faded converse lock the whole outfit together. I quickly step to the side and let him walk in. He doesn't stop to say good morning and just walks in the direction of my bedroom.

I stand there a moment and watch him while I close the door. His backpack was hanging with one strap on his shoulder. I never really seen his bag until now. It was black with many patches and chains. Some patches had classic rock bands while others were from TV shows. I watched it sway until Connor disappeared around the corner. I quickly followed him into my bedroom where he was laying out text books, notebooks and pens.

"Thanks for helping me with this whole studying thing Dustin, it means a lot. I move so much that I lose track of lessons and it screws with my brain a lot. I usually get left behind and have to take summer school. I'm lucky enough to have only been held back one year." Connor says with a small smile and then his eyes go up and down my body, his smile growing wider. "You look hot today by the way." He says casually as if he was talking about the weather. I look down at my outfit of the day and don't see how it could be classified as hot. I was wearing a thin loose tank top with a British flag covering the front and dark blue sweats. I looked like I was about to go to sleep. I still couldn't stop my blush as I walked over to my desk and spun my tiny office chair towards my bed.

Connor sits on my bed with one leg folded under the other and he lays out the poetry handouts we were given for review. I decide to ignore all the fluttering for a moment and take the studying seriously because he obviously wanted to pass the test.

"Okay so lets start with what you don't understand." I say and move the chair closer bumping our legs together. I look at his face and he seems lost for a second as he looks at our legs, before going back to the work sheets and looking completely confused.