Finding Love

Prologue

Perhaps locking myself in the attic during a storm had not been one of my most clever ideas. The strong winds battered relentlessly against the framework of the house and had been howling pitifully for the past hour. After glancing outside through a small window at the corner of the attic, I crawled back under the numerous blankets I'd piled onto the bed to keep the cold away. However, the freezing cold still managed to slip through sending shivers down my spine every now and then. Despite the storm brewing outside, I could still here my parents screaming at each other downstairs. I'd never heard either of them sound this mad before. Granted, Father was slightly short-tempered but he'd never raised his voice against my mother. He reserved that for the landlord and once in a while the delivery boy. My mother on the other hand was sweet, calm and gentle. Very few things could anger her as much as what Father had done today, which I had no clue about. I didn't ask. Hopefully they would tell me in the morning. Maybe I could ask them over breakfast.

Just then, a loud bang of a door interrupted my thoughts. I quickly threw off the blankets and ran to the small window. Outside, illuminated by the moon was my mother, walking away from the house with a small suitcase in hand. She'd wrapped herself in dozens of scarves and jackets and was almost unrecognizable. She seemed determined to get away as she quickened her pace just as she reached the end of the worn path to our house. Was she leaving for good? The startling realization that she might be leaving for good sent a pang of fear through my heart. Just before she disappeared from my sight, she turned and blew a kiss towards the attic of our house, towards me. That gesture gave me all the answer I needed. Even though she'd blown me a kiss, it felt more like a slap across the face. My knees gave out and I landed on the floor with a heavy thud, burying my face in my arms. I barely registered the slight pain in my knees. I was numb with shock. My heart seemed to ache and the lump in my throat refused to go away. I'd never felt this helpless before, or this frightened. I was never going to see her again, never hear her voice singing me lullabies and never curl up against her when I was afraid. Yet, no tears escaped me. I uncurled myself and made my way to the bed before finally breaking down into sobs. My whole body was quivering but the lump soon disappeared. My throat was scratchy and dry as if it was scraped raw. Raw, that's how I felt, raw and vulnerable. As if from a distance, I could hear my father calling to me from outside the attic door but I didn't want to answer. I could barely hear my own voice anyway. I didn't even want to see him right now because I knew it would make this situation all the more real and force me to release the load of tears I was still holding in. I gently lay down on the bed before blowing out my bedside candle and drifting off into an uneasy sleep.