Is This Love?

Recovery

Rivai POV

It took me a few weeks to get back on my feet. Erwin hadn't issued an expeditions while I was out of action. He refused to visit me while I was resting. Did I do something wrong?  I kept the thoughts to myself and glanced over at the empty chair by my bedside.. Felt nice to be in my room and not the stupid infirmary. It got too cold in there. I sat up with a slight wince and grabbed the cane I used once before when I was hurt. I used it to stand up, my feet touched the cool floor making me shiver some. I reached over and grabbed my black coat resting in on my shoulders. I didn't feel like putting my arms through the sleeves. I silently left my room with a limp using the cane to keep me balanced. I might be getting to old for this. I chuckled quietly to myself. Erwin is older than me. That gave me some confidence about my age. I made my way to the commander's office and knocked first before letting myself in like I usually did. Erwin glanced up from the paperwork on his desk.

"Levi? What are you doing up? You should be resting. Healing." He sounded concerned but I can tell he probably was a bit mad at me.

"I've rested enough Danchou." I sighed and closed the door heading to the desk slowly. His blue eyes watched me carefully in case I were to fall. Like I'd fall. Pfft. Wait.. Never mind... Scratch that out. I will fall. I winced some and the blond immediately stood going to my side. "Erwin.. I'm fine." I looked up at him and he looked away. I raised a brow slightly. "What's wrong with you? You wouldn't want to see me when I called for you. You're looking away from me. What did I do wrong?" I snapped.

"Don't worry about it." He moved and took his seat back at his desk.

" I will worry about! I went back there to help our squad. One was killed that day Erwin. Yet you're mad at me for doing it. It wasn't reckless!" I closed my eyes and looked away trying to keep the anger inside that was starting up Erwin always thought I made mistakes, as if he hasn't before.

The commander flinched some at my raised voice. He looked at me and took a deep breath. "You wouldn't understand one of the reasons but... another one was.. I am just worried is all."

"What's the first reason? The one I wouldn't...... Understand." I had a pause and made the last word a bit harsh.

"I can't tell you. It's wrong and it's something I shouldn't let myself do." He glanced back at the paperwork. I opened my eyes and my attention fell on my superior. What did he mean? What is he doing that would be wrong? I had questions but Erwin is stubborn. I won't get many answers from him. I walked to his side and laid a hand on his shoulder. His blue eyes met my own, they seemed to soften. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mad about the choice you made."

"No need to apologize. I understand." I held his gaze and he put a hand on the top of my head petting my short dark hair. In other times... I'd smack him, move away or make threats to cut his hand off but right now, it felt nice. My eyes closed once more and I leaned against him. Erwin chuckled quietly and lightly played with my hair. I trusted him more than anyone. Mikasa was another story, I barely trusted her.. I kept walls up around my heart just so she won't break it. I knew she loved Eren. She followed hims around like a love sick puppy, yet.... I like her. Something is obviously wrong with me.

"Would you like me to take you back to your room?" I heard the commanders voice and shook my head.

I opened my eyes to look at him. "Are you going to sleep tonight?" I simply asked.

"No, I have all this to do." He gestured to the papers.

"May I sleep in here?" I wondered. He did have his bed in the office. Erwin is smart. If he was tired, he'll sleep. "Gets lonely in my room."

"Sure." He nodded and stood up guiding me to the bed. He helped me to lay down and get comfortable setting the cane against the nightstand. He dimmed one of the lanterns for me and I had closed my eyes quietly. Erwin was about to go back to his desk until grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He looked down at me with a raised brow.