lock our love away; phan

eight facing fears

*What Phil Was Doing Beforehand*

"Let me an awesome big bro," my brother said poking my cheek. We sat on the couch and he wouldn't stop bugging me about letting him help me out with Dan. "No."

"Please? I friends that can help you," Martin begged. I sighed deeply but still refused. "My problem not yours," he was an amazing big brother but sometimes he doesn't know when no means no from me. Maybe because I always end up changing my answer so he leave me alone about it sooner.

"Might has well cut out the middle man Phil and let me help you out." He was right but I had held out just a bit longer before I finally said yes. He jumped up from the couch. "Yes! Okay come on," he took me by the hoodie and dragged me all the way to his car. "What are we doing?" I asked him with an eyebrow raised.

"Told you, I have friends that can help," he started driving and for the long part of the ride we didn't talk. We didn't need too; we got along just fine in silence.

Once we made it to his friends and I said hi to everyone they pulled me upstairs to one of his friend's room. A girl named Marylyn and a boy named Bob was with us. "Okay baby face let's see where you might be swinging that bat of yours!" Marylyn declared delightfully. Marylyn in my words is a very handsome women if you know what I mean. Long purple dyed hair and big brown eyes and her friend Bob with his matching brown eyes/hair and makeup was okay, for the most part.

"Looks more like a water boy if you ask me," Bob said dully. I don't know what that means exactly but I'm highly offended.

Marylyn punched his arm and they explained to me what healthy relationships are and how to make them work. That took about an hour of uncomfortable talking.

"There's all kinds of relationships and as long as everyone involved is happy and healthy, it's not wrong. No matter the type. Straight, gay, ace, and even poly... all of them are a-okay if no one is getting hurt!" Marylyn was saying while Bob stated smiling at her. She sat crisscross on floor blushing when she saw him looking so fondly at her.

"And uh, yeah, Phil... just learn how to express yourself with Dan and even others to better your life with them. Friendship or more, in this case more. Are you understanding or you thinking about how soft Dan's skin is?" I snapped out of my daze and nodded before realizing that I might of agreed to thinking about Dan.

"Yes. I get it. So how do I know I like someone more as a friend?" I asked.

"Well, usually you want hold them close-not always sexual remember that. But you can't help but think about them and it's not always easy to know what type of relationship you want with them, but you don't mind all that much as along as they're with you. That's okay and you're never wrong for feeling your emotions-unless they're weird stuff about your brother than get Jesus." She quickly said the last part.

"Wait what?" Martin looked at her. "Nothing! Either way let's see how you feel about Dan" She tugged on my arm holding my phone. "Bob been looking through your Dan Photos and videos, you're so close with him."

"Please don't look my things."

"I'm bored so I'm going finish this up," Bob spoke up. "Listen, Pill-"

"Phil."

"Sure. Whatever. You of all people would know you're feelings on Dan and, yeah, feelings are weird but do you really want hold hands with him and call him your boyfriend or not? Cause that's the easiest way I can put it. So what ya say?" Bob played with Marylyn's hair barely paying mind to me.

"I mean... I guess it be good." Let's skip to an hour later of me going on about Dan and how beautiful and nice I think he is. Talking about him so openly and freely I started saying things I didn't even know I thought about. Like how cute I think his dimples are and how his hugs are so warm that I could stay in arms. One time we cuddled because it was super cold and he was so warm, I couldn't help myself but stay so close to him in bed. I never thought of it as anything because I was sleepy but now I'm awake and I think I'm okay to say I wouldn't mind being in his arms all the time. Or maybe even better, him in mine.

"Call him! Call him!" My brother cheered as they saw how red and frustrated I started feeling because now I wanted to hold him. I just don't want bullies. But I called him anyway.

I think I'm already to be brave and face my fears. I want to go steady with Dan Howell and I'll deal with bullies if I truly have too.

a.n. holy crap im back for a bit i guess. im going write some super cute fluffy Phan stuff instead of these run-on chapters that im sure you guys hate. sorry but whatever :P

bye. !

~InventiveAi