lock our love away; phan

fifth what to do

"Danny, do you really love Phil?" Anna asked me from my door frame. I sighed looking up from my book to meet her graze. "Like, do you like him the same way Ken likes Barbie?"

I smiled. "Yes, yes I do. Why asking?" She walked from the door frame to the corner of my bed and climbed on. "Because mummy was talking to daddy about if you started to date Phil like Ken and Barbie do. I think it's cool that you two can date." I chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad you think that. Gods know that everyone doesn't," she frowned like she thought like it was the coolest thing in the world and no one should be able to think otherwise. She frowned like that a lot.

"They're dumb." She finally said. "I guess. It's late let me tuck you in, okay?" I told her. She nodded her head and put her arms out as a sign for me to carry her. I picked her up and she kissed my cheek. "Just don't be weird and I'll tell mummy and daddy that they could be cool too if they let you two be a cute couple like my dollies."

"Deal." We shook hands and I put her to sleep. I planned to wait for mum and dad to come home but I fell asleep before they did. The dinner I made them had probably become very cold and they must of been very tired too.

*Morning*

I woke up with a yawn and my fringe in my face. While taking an hour to get ready for school I got a text message. With a tooth brush in mouth I checked it to see it was Pj.

Pj: sup you gay nerd dont be late again

I rolled my eyes with a smile and finished brushing my teeth as well as quickly putting on pants. I ran down stairs grabbed some food and head out for school saying bye before I left.

Once off the school bus I looked for my friends at the music room. Walking in I saw Phil sitting criss cross on the piano bench with Chris and Pj leaning against the piano.

When I got close enough to them they completely stopped talking. "Um, hey guys..." awkward silence.

"Why did you stop talking?"

"Don't worry about it. Want head out?" Chris asked. Pj hit him on the shoulder with a look to tell him not to say anything.

"We weren't talking about anything important. Stupid stuff like always." Pj added.

"Like what?"

"More stuff about tattoos," said Phil who clearly made it up on the spot.

"They were taking about how Phil felt uncomfortable about your crush because it puts more pressure on him questioning his sexuality," Jester said (a boy that I have almost never seen outside of the music room and always snooping around people. He knew every rumor before they were even rumors). He laid under the piano with an apple.

"What the hell?!" Chris jumped.

"What? Apples taste better down here." I ignored him.

I stepped back and frowned. "Right... I have somewhere be. I'll see you later." I ran out the music room to the boys bathroom with tears in my eyes.

*Phil's POV*

My head in my hands I sighed deeply. "You asshole" Pj called Jester out.

"Wow. I created some bad mojo here. I'll be gone my homo bro-hoes" Jester rolled away with a stoned smile to him and a chuckle. "That guy weirds me out," Chris whispered. I looked up at them two and wondered what was I going do about Dan.

"This is bull shit," I muttered.

"You want go find him?" Pj asked. I shook my head yes and we walked out looking for him. We ended up skipping all of first and second hour looking.

Deep down, even if I would never say it, I actually didn't want find Dan. I been questioning if I did like boys and everything felt awkward. I don't want hurt Dan if I don't and if I do what than? We date and if we break up it wouldn't be awkward awkward  we were already awkward as it is but it be a different type of awkward. Maybe that's only if one of us still like the other after the break up. Maybe not.

No. I think I just don't want be bullied like him. He learned how take a hit and brush a nose bleed or black eye like nothing. Lost a tooth? No big deal to Daniel James Howell. I could never be like that. I'd probably cry or die. I don't know. I just don't want get beat up has bad as him or at all really, but than again neither does he.

Pj and Chris said they couldn't think of any problems with us dating if we did so. Maybe they were right. Guess it all matters once I figure out if I really do like boys and if I really do like Dan. I could always just fight back, right?

My head hurt.

I stopped thinking about it and just went to class. I didn't even know where to start on how the hell would I figure this out!

I won't be doing it alone that's for sure.

a.n~ wtf was this chapter 囧