Infinite

Chapter 12

I was playing my music alone. This violin sang and danced over flecks of moonlight and winter breezes. It hummed in a lonely way; one which reflected me, and how my own chest ached and filled with flowers. It had been nearly two months since I had built invisible roads and rivers between me and amy humble demon. Though he wasn't all that humble when he did not wish to be. As I played, I recalled a curiosity which had taken place but a week prior:

A glow had been steadily growing within his eyes as the days had passed slowly. They would often fix upon me; shimmering as red-hot coals. I remember they had been smoldering particularly bright upon that night; dancing with a certain kind of magic. The estate had long been quiet and still; hushed by the stars and silent scenes of night. Discomfort had grown to comfort within us both once again, and I knew the shift was real. I knew what I had done had affected him. I had asked for his company for the first time in a long while. I summoned him next to me to sit by the fire. I longed for touch... yet not the kind in which would send my nerves singing. My skin was lonely, it seemed... and so he had sat beside me as I watched the flames glisten.

I held a cup of warm milk and honey gingerly within my lap. I treated it as a small bird, for I feared for it breaking or spilling. I had discovered that I could not look upon that beverage quite the same since our last endeavor, and I could feel his warmth against me as if it were burning my skin.

I leaned into the heat of him.

He sat without waistcoat nor gloves, and I felt close to him as if we were close friends. Such a dynamic was strange, though everything about me was as such. I feared not for the other servants, and if they would catch us in such a state. I was tired of being afraid. They could think whatever they were keen to, I supposed. I was sure they had heard enough to wonder, and I found that I did not care one bit. I turned my nose into the crook of his neck, breathing deeply. The air was relaxed and peaceful around us, and I felt safe... for I knew he would succumb to any, and all of my orders.

My own mind was strange and confusing. I knew unto the depths of me that I still loved him... yet something deep within me felt it right to repel such strong emotions. It was that blooming field of black roses which grew inside of my frail chest. With each breath, I felt it sway and grow. Such a feeling felt as a flutter of moth's wings... a whispering of something very dark. The feeling was not regret... yet I thought it might have been something very close to it. I breathed in his familiar scent, and snuggled closer... resisting the urge to kiss his flawless skin. I glanced up at him, and found him staring down at me with those selling eyes of his. I felt it twinge within me... and it hurt as much as I thought anything could. I could not place a finger to what it was... yet I knew it was him which had caused such an ache.

I felt despair well within me, and I let it live there... silent.

Somehow, my hand had found his... and soon I was drifting off on clouds of the whitest silk; eyelids becoming heavier, and breath becoming deeper. The cup I had been holding sat empty on a nearby table. The only satiation I had needed was the deep lull of Sebastian's breath; singing to me as the ocean would sing similes to the beach's tenants.

"Hmm."

I hummed as I grew sleepier.

"Young master, I fear that it is getting far too late."

I nodded, though I could feel the tenseness in his voice.

He accompanied me upstairs to my quarters, carrying a flickering candelabra in his pale hands.

I had always loved his hands.

My eyelids were growing heavier by the second, and I fell into bed as soon as I had hit it.