Infinite

Chapter 15

I awoke that morning entwined within his arms. This was a new occurrence for the both of us, yet it was not unwelcome. The morning light filtered into the window through the trees. They were teeming with colorful morning birds, singing soft melodies to the breeze's rainy whisper. I sighed, blinking away the sleep from my eyes. My throat felt dry, and I swallowed hard as I turned around to face a sleeping Sebastian. A twinge of longing pierced my heart, then. Looking at him as he seemed so utterly defenseless let me grasp a tiny glimpse of something I had never seen before. I realized that once I was gone, I would be missing this change within him. Perhaps I had urged him to understand gentleness. I knew this must be untrue, considering where he had come from; that insatiable darkness and pain. It had been a selfish thought, but it had been a genuine one.

His hair fell endearingly over his eyes, and I reached up to softly brush it away. His eyelids fluttered, and my hand drew back slightly. I felt as if I were bound to secrecy... as if he was never allowed to know just how tenderly my fingers yearned and begged steadily to caress him. It was almost as if I feared waking the beast. I feared that once he awoke, his arms would slide from around my waist, and he would feign modesty, begging me to leave him whilst he could dawn that stiff, scratchy coat. I wanted him to stay like this. I wanted him to let me live here... in his arms, always.

He looked so lovely when he was sleeping.

"I love you."

I whispered.

I did not care if my voice awoke him, nor if he had heard me.

I sunk into the warmth of his chest, drawing a hand up to stroke along the little tufts of hair at the back of his neck. Every detail of his being felt so human... felt so real. I listened for a heart beat, and for a moment I thought I heard one... but then, I felt him stir. I drew my head away as his eyes fluttered into wakefulness. He peered at me for a moment, as if he were trying to decipher something impossible. I assumed I was the puzzle he sought to solve, and I gazed back with unwavering intensity.

There were no words either one of us could speak. Everything that came to my mind felt nonsensical and unnecessary. Instead, I brought amy hand back to up to stroke over the perfect softness of his skin. His hands came tighter around me, and I stifled the hitch in my breath. His fingers traced up my spine, and the air grew thick and charged between and around us as I felt my stomach churn again with that nauseating heat, and I desperately begged my mind to repel his torment.

He did not, instead kissing me so tenderly that for a few moments I did not realize that his lips were upon mine, at all. I knew that only he could permit me to fall to pieces... and I tried desperately to cling to a conscious and thinking mind.... yet my eyes fluttered closed in the warming gaze of the morning sun, and I pulled him to me gently. The kiss was featherlight and warm, caressing me into a soft, hazy daze. So tenderly he held me... so lovingly his lips were as they pushed against me. I felt a shiver roll its lazy way up my spine, and I drew a leg up to hook around his waist. He caressed my thigh, sliding his warm hand up the softness of my skin. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss with ease. I obliged, tangling my fingers within his hair.

Neither one of us were inclined to face the cold hardwood of his bedroom floor, and yet not a sound was uttered between our bitten lips as I drew away from him breathlessly. I felt our connection break, and I with it. I opened my eyes again in an attempt to commune what he knew we both were thinking.

No... no more.

He nodded slightly, pecking my jaw lightly as he sat up to roll the covers away from our sore bodies. I felt his hand linger just a moment longer upon my naked back before he shooed me away, and I left to change.