May 11th 2015, THE DAY.
Last Day Hospitalized
I woke up feeling so sad that morning and I didn't know why. I went to school, as usual, but I actually didn't really want to go to school. I just wanted to go to the hospital and stayed there with Dad while Mom was at home after a week she stayed in the hospital. The night before, Mom decided to go back home with me and my sister because she felt so tired and very sick. When Mom told Dad that she wanted to take rest at home and his brother would be in charge, Dad seemed doesn't want Mom to go but Mom couldn't stay longer in the hospital or she would be more sick. I had to go to school because I had some assignments to do with my teamwork I didn't want to miss it. But I couldn't be focused at class. I kept checking my phone and I've asked my teachers to allow me to use my phone during classes. I apologized to my team that I couldn't do it well. I couldn't even have energy to write and think. And Thank God they understood but I did my best to do my part on the team.
After the first recess, when I was doing assignment, I checked my phone. One of my aunt (Dad's cousin-red) said something on Dad's family group chat. She told that Dad had to be rushed to the ICU because the monitor couldn't detect his health condition. He was completely dropped. I was at school, panicked. I texted Mom asking whether it was true or not and she responded so late. I decided to text my brother's best friend, telling about Dad's condition and he offered to pick me up at school that time. And he asked me to wait at school until he comes. Then after I texted him, Mom replied and said she was on the way to school to pick me up. I told her that my brother's friend will pick me up. I had already packed my bag and when I was in the toilet in the second recess, my name was called from the information room. I ran back to the class, got my bag, met Mom there, and we left. But before I left class, my friends told me to inform them by our group chat, no matter what happen. They all knew about what happened to my Dad and they were very supportive and care. They also knew I dropped tears during classes that day but they hid it from teachers.
When I was on the way to the hospital, I texted my brother's friend that Mom already picked me up. He texted me back saying, "Your mom has texted me and now I'm on my way to the hospital". I was relieved. At least there would be someone with me. Mom and I arrived at Dad's room but it was empty. We thought there was someone who stayed there. We ran to the ICU. My sister and Dad's siblings were already there. Mom came in to the ICU room while I decided to stay outside. I found a quiet spot for myself. I sat on the floor in the corridor. I couldn't hold my tears at that time. I cried in silence...
After a while, two of my aunts came to me and sat down on the floor with me which I didn't want anybody talk or even just accompany me that time. But I couldn't say no. They tried to calm me down and talked to me but I just cried. Mom and my sister got out from the ICU room and follow the nurse to check out the waiting room for us.
Few seconds later, one of male nurse ran along the corridor while calling my dad's family. I was there and I cried harder. I said, "What's going on? What happened?". I ran into the ICU room and looked for dad. I saw him in one of the room. I also saw some nurses pumping his chest, helping him to breathe... I went in, on my knee and held his right arm while Mom and sister were on dad's left and right ears, whispered to dad to fight more. I kept holding his arm, so cold. At that moment, I said "Dad please don't go. Please stay with me. I need you here. Please Dad...". I begged, I kissed his arm and tried to not drop any tears on his arm. I saw the monitor, it showed his heartbeats getting lower and lower. I could hear my sister cried as hard as I was. Mom tried to lead my dad by whispering verses of Qur'an on his right ear. Then when nurses were ready with the defibrillator, Mom told them, "No, it's done. It's over..". I finally whispered on my dad's ear,"I'm gonna miss you, Dad.. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. Please forgive me. I'll let you go even though it will against myself but I have to.. I love you forever..". And after that, he's gone... Forever...
I walked out and tried to call my brother's best friend. He answered but he said he was running to the ICU. I waited and he finally showed up. I ran to him, hugged him, cried and said "He's gone.. He's really gone now". He hugged me so tight, "I'm sorry. Everything will be okay.. Be strong for him and for your family.. Now you can cry as much as you want but promise me you won't cry anymore. Your dad will be so sad to see you crying for him..."
My family decided to burry dad in Jakarta, which is our hometown. There were some processes to do before we can bring Dad's body fly to Jakarta that night. Everything happened so quick. All of my classmates and some friends from different class came for condolences. I couldn't thank enough to them, who always support me and my family until my dad passed away. After few hours in the hospital, Mom asked me and my sister to went home for packing then catch up at the airport. So we went home, I took shower, changed my uniform, packed and left to the airport. We waited for couple hours then we headed to Jakarta that night.
We finally landed and went out from the airport at midnight. Our flight was delayed for a while. It supposed to be only an hour flight but it took little bit more. I met my brother at the airport, he hugged me and my sister and we were all cried. But he told us, "Now there's me. I will take over the house because I'm the only man now. I can never replace Dad in the house but I promise I'll take care of you both and mom. If there's something happen, please let me know. I'll try my best to help". To be honest, I never heard my brother said something so mature like that before. And now I know, someone will take care of us. I also met Mom's cousins, her oldest brother, and one of Dad's best friend who picked us up and we drove to the funeral home, which was my grandma's house (Mom's mom-red). I was stunned when we arrived. There were so many people who still waited for us even though it was late night. Our family, Dad's friends, our colleague, my siblings and I's closest friends and their family.. So many people were there and I realized, Dad was a really kindly-hearted person all entire his life. Everybody loves him and they came that night to see him....
Before they opened the coffin, my siblings and I stood next to it while Mom sat down with my grandma few steps from us. She could barely stand up. I stood in the middle of my siblings. When it was opened, my brother couldn't hold his tears. It was his first time seeing Dad after few days, but he's lifeless. My brother gave his words to Dad to take care of us, the ladies in the house.
It was a very long night and we buried Dad in the morning....
The End.
-Putri Anindya Shavitri-
