Lily of the Valley

Chapter 10 | The Healing Garden

Brittney wasn’t able to join my mother and myself for lunch so I just brought her something to eat. “Thanks, Karen! It’s a veggie burger, right?” she asked.

“Yup, cooked just the way you like it.” I said with a big grin on my face.

“You’re a life saver. I’m starving. Do you want to join me in the healing garden?”

“Sure. I haven’t been there in a while.” And we headed to the garden located right in the middle of the structure.

“Nothing changed.” I exclaimed when I entered.

“The flowers are different.” Brittney said, as she took a bite of her burger. I let her eat in silence for a bit, and I just let the surrounding sink in. I was one floor below pediatrics, where I used to spend my weekends volunteering. And where I will be working at in about a week or two after orientation. 

I looked up at the floor above us, and I saw the hallway I used to walk on every time I come in and out of the hospital. I saw the conference room where doctors have their meetings or just hang out. I also saw the staff elevator that can fit an entire bed.  Brittney and I decided to plan our European vacation even though we don’t know when exactly we’re going. All we know is that we want an adventure.  It was a productive day, and it wasn’t even close to over yet.  

She and I were walking out of the garden when her Vocera, a walky-talky type of device used by staff in the hospital, beeped.  

“I’ll be right there, Nick.” Brittney said to her charge nurse

“I’ll be on my way then.  I’ll see you at home?”

“Yup. And here, use the staff elevator.  It’s faster.” She said as she scanned her identification badge.

“I can’t wait to scan my own badge.” I said enthusiastically.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be soon.” Her Vocera beeped again, and she had to leave before the lift arrived.  

And when the doors finally opened, my heart almost jumped out of my chest.  Thomas Parker was in the elevator and he was looking straight at me.  The good thing is that I can compose myself quickly, so I got into the elevator and waited for it to reach my designated floor. 

“First floor?” he asked, being courteous. 

“No. Second floor, please.” I said.  I was looking down at my feet the entire time. When the doors opened, I immediately hopped out, avoiding eye contact.  But my plan of avoiding him was flawed, since I noticed that he was also heading at the same direction.  We were both walking towards the parking lot, and he was right behind me.  It felt like his gaze was burning my back. I felt self conscious, but that was not the worst part.  He was making me feel multiple emotions all at the same time, just as he did so many years ago… and I hated it.  It felt like my chest was going to explode because of all the anger, happiness, sadness, and frustration that he was making me feel at that moment.  I kept chanting ‘I hope he turns around.’

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn’t even realize he spoke until he cleared his throat loudly.  I stopped walking, and turned around to look at him. 

“I’ve upset you,” he said, with anguish in his voice.

“What are you talking about?” then that’s when I realized that tears were streaming down my cheeks.  I immediately wiped it off, and said: “Don’t be so full of yourself. I’m crying about something else.” And started to walk away.

“Wait, Karen. Please, we need to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about, Dr. Parker.” I said, still walking away.  But he was still the persistent Tom I knew. 

“Hold on.” He grabbed my arm softly.  He was already panting, and it made me aware of how fast I was walking.

“What can I help you with, Doctor?” I asked sarcastically. 

“Did you have lunch yet?” he asked, and he gave me a big smile.  That was the last strand.  I snapped.

“How dare you? How can you ask me out to lunch like nothing happened? You’re making it seem like it was just yesterday that I last saw you.  Well Mister, to jog your memories, it’s been three years.  And during those times, I never heard anything from you.  And now, you ask me out to lunch? I’m sorry to inform you, but that won’t work anymore… I don’t think anything will work again.”  

He was about to say something when I interrupted, “I was wishfully thinking that you trusted me enough to tell me you were leaving.  I thought you cared enough to let me know where you were going.  I thought we had something; a thing that’s enough for you to tell me you’re coming back.  But you didn’t do any of those.”

“I’m sorry.” he said with big, sincere eyes. That was the last thing I heard, but also the only thing I could hear all week. His eyes haunted my dreams for many nights.