Worst One Direction Fanfic On Wattpad!

The obligatory 1D stereotypes

Note: everything in bold is a message from the actual author.

Hello, good citizens of wattpad. How art thou todayeth? Sorry, my English teacher told us to read Shakespeare and it's getting to me.

P.S. This is dedicated to pure_girl99 for being such an amazing supporter, friend and an all around amazing human being :) xx

 *new chapter*

The next day I walked into sir-stripes-a-lot.

"Oh hey I heaard Liam adopted you"

"Yeah sorry i'm fucking all of your friends"

"Oh ok, that's not weird at all isnce you're 12 and they're all like 20 and it's illegal in pretty much every country" sir-stripes-a-lot replied

"totes" i chirped.

"So what's up?"

"Nothing, just wondering how to convince Harry to have sex with me. He's being so modest and normal - like he's acting the way people would actually act in relationships. It's really bugging me" I whined. Not that I was complaining abiout my first world problems or anyhtihng.

"Oh well maybe yuo can find someone else ? ;) wink wink"

"SIR-STRIPES-A-LOT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE SO INAPPROPRIATE! I mean it's not like every wattpad fanfic writer emphasizes the fact that you are unbelivably dirty minded, as if that's the only quality you have worth mentioning in any story"

"Well if the carrot fits..." sir-stripes-a-lot trailed off.

*

*previously on the worst onedirection fanfic on wattpad*

Bonquisha is re-united with Zayn, only to be cruelly ripped away from him when she has a heart attack. Her spirit angel then restores her life, much like a video game in which she is returned to her last check point

Because that's an average thing that happens in wattpad fanfics

"Oh Zayn now that I'm alive again, we should have a partaaayyy!!" I told him. 

"Yeah I think I'm just gonna stay at home and look in the mirror. I'm an antisocial brat" he told me. Of course. Because all the fanfic writers create the same personas for the 1D boys - Zayn being the antisocial brat. Because they really know him well enough to decipher what he's like in real life. "Ok babyboo well i'm going to the party anyway so ttyl ilysm4like5eva kkbyyeee" i told him, before gliding towards the party which had materialized out of thin air. I mean I was talking to Zayn five minutes ago and it was like 2pm but all of a sudden the story has jumped to 9pm when the party takes place. even though there's no indication that the time has passed...

Successful writers are founded here on wattpad...

As I walked into the party, it was amusing to see that I didn't know anyone here and nobody knew me, regardless of the fact that this party was on my behalf. I watched as a boy around my age drank 80 bottles of vodka. Because abnormal alcohol abuse is all the rage in fanfics. No-one bothered to tell him to stop before he died of alcohol poisoning or anything. Apparently caring friends don't exist in these stories.