Shadow's Diary (noncanon)

Tuesday, 4-11-3236

This may surprise you, but I had an amazing day today.

It all started with going into G.U.N. as normal, but that was where the "normal" routine ended and the excitement began. You see, Diary, as I foretold yesterday, I was even more of a celebrity than usual after my outburst of laughter. Everywhere I went half of the room was whispering about it, and believe me when I say that I could hear every word.

What humans take to be a quiet, private whisper is loud enough to me that's it's aggravating. It's especially so when they're not talking about me, honestly. I am not interested in the many facets of the common Joe's love life. I couldn't care less if someone's unknown brother is marrying, and I care even less than that about the gender of the betrothed. You won't believe the words I had to sit through when this one guy's brother married another guy... Why do humans care so much about gossip? Are their lives really so boring that such inconsequential things become interesting? Anyways, returning to the topic at hand...

I sought out Rouge at lunchtime today, as we normally sit together, and I was pleased to see that she was just coming from break (having told everyone about her trip, I might actually have a chance at getting her away from the crowd to ask my question). I waved to her, and she happily sat down with Eclipse and I. Eclipse started a bit of small talk, and I let him and Rouge chatter for several minutes without comment. Rouge was happy to see the both of us, and said so several times, but I wasn't focused on our reunion. I was trying to figure out a way to ask Rouge my very personal question without freaking her out. I don't really know how to tell what happened in a narrative, so I'll just give you the dialogue and let you piece it all together:

Me -- "So, Rouge, I...*trailing off*...would like to ask you something..."

Rouge -- "Something about what?" *flirty wink*

Me -- "Ugh, Rouge. Nothing like that."

Eclipse -- *laughing quietly*

Rouge -- "Whatever you say, Shadow." *teasing finger wave* "Ask me whatever; it's fine. I'm sure you question can't be that bad."

Me -- *trying to sound casual* "I wanted to know..." *suddenly realizing I'm more afraid of this question than I've been of things like dying* "...if you'd like to work out at the gym with me this Saturday." *hastily trying to cover up my awkward lapse by crossing my arms* "I don't have a spotting partner, and Eclipse is busy that day."

Eclipse -- "I am? I don't remember having anything scheduled..."

Me -- "Yes, you have that...testing to do." *mentally whacking him through our mindlink*

Eclipse -- "Oh! Yes, I forgot. Thank you for reminding me." *mentally chastising me for lying*

Rouge -- "I seem to have forgotten how weird you two are..."

Eclipse and I -- *chuckling awkwardly to cover as he glares daggers at me* (I may have gotten on his case for lying before, and I can tell he's out for revenge on this.)

Rouge -- "I guess I can spot you, Shadow. But it's supposed to be sweltering on Saturday. Maybe we should do laps in the pool instead of weights?"

Me -- "Good idea." *drops subject and starts berating self for not asking Rouge this stupid question*

Well, Diary, what did you think? Pitiful, right? I had thought I was courageous, but my ridiculousness over such a minor thing did away with that illusion rather quickly. Embarrassing, to say the least.

Back to the subject at hand, I left lunch after that and continued through my day as though it was normal, but I was actually wondering how the heck I was going to have a coherent conversation with Rouge about my concerns when I couldn't even seem to bring up the subject. I'm not sure if it was so much asking that scared me or rather the possible answers to my question, but, at any rate, I studiously avoided talking to Rouge for fear of letting her catch onto my inner turmoil.

My much-dreaded second chance to ask her came when our workday ended, as we walked out the door and towards our respective houses. We live pretty close to each other, within a few miles, outside the city limits. Eclipse made an excuse to go back for something, leaving Rouge and I alone. She was flying, and I was gliding along on my hover shoes. I took a deep breath, and finally voiced something I've wanted to for a long time: "Rouge, I would like to ask you something. I've been wondering about it for a while now... I know we're friends, but are you bothered by the fact I'm a creation?"

"What do you mean, Shadow? Why would I be bothered by that?" Rouge's questions seemed to fill the unsure hole in my heart, but I had to be sure.

"Well, so many people look down on me or hate me for being an alien hybrid weapon creation. I was wondering if you were affected by my physical status." I said, trying to explain my question.

"Shadow," Rouge shook her head, "Of course I'm not bothered by it. You may be different in origin than most people I know, but why should that matter?"

"I...well, I wanted to make sure it wasn't affecting our friendship." I responded slightly defensively, trying to find an argument that would prove my concerns valid. "I mean, wouldn't you like me more if I had been born like, oh, I don't know, Sonic?"

"Hahaha!" Rouge laughed, and I jumped at her outburst. Stopping her flight, she landed in front of me--nearly relegating herself to life as a pancake, I'll add--and looked me in the eyes. "Shadow, it's very sweet of you to be concerned about this, but you don't need to worry. I've never even given your origin a second thought. Well, when I was investigating you during the old ARK days, yeah, I was thinking about it. Beyond that, though, I don't care."

"You don't?" I questioned, too surprised to believe my ears; I'd prepared for the worst possible answer of "Yeah, you'd be better if you were natural."

"No, I don't," Rouge said, and, leaning forward, she pecked me on the lips. Yes, Diary, she pecked me on the lips! I couldn't believe it, of course, and I stood there shell-shocked as she leaned back and sighed. "Shadow, I've never really cared about where you come from. All I care about is that you're you." She took a step forward, and I was frozen as she cradled my head and put her lips on mine. The seconds flitted between hours and moments as love for my friend bloomed in my chest, as our mouths touched softly. Gosh, Diary, I had my first kiss today, and it was beyond what I had ever even thought about. It only lasted for maybe thirty seconds, but those thirty seconds were the best I'd had in fifty years.

"Shadow..." Rouge said after the kiss broke, "I've always loved you as a friend, and I don't give a flying buttress whether you were created, born, or put together by magical, flying, Chaos fairies. The only reason I haven't told you this is that you never seemed interested in knowing. Honestly, if this was bothering you so much, then why didn't you tell me?" I looked down, blushing (a rare instance for me), and mumbled that I'd been too nervous to do so. She shook her head, laughing softly, and hugged me. We were close for a few minutes, but the she pulled away and explained that she had to make a call to one of her friends to tell her about a gem she had encountered on her vacation. I nodded, and made an excuse about making sure Eclipse hadn't burnt the house down (to be fair, he's not completely adept at operating a stove yet) while I was gone.

She left to go home after that, but only after hugging me again and saying, "Goodnight."

I, on the other hand, stood there for nearly ten minutes before my brain registered what had just happened. Then I wandered home, arriving shortly before 6 o'clock (I'd gotten off from work nearly an hour earlier). Eclipse asked me how it went, and I told him with words, refusing to let my bundle of mixed feelings seep through our mindlink. Eclipse had made dinner (miraculously without burning the house down), and I ate before retiring to bed early. Then I pulled you out, and I've spent the last 45 minutes writing this entry.

Diary, should I ask Rouge on a date? Is that proper protocol for two friends who might be more than friends? I don't know if Rouge even considers kissing me a particularly romantic gesture, after all. I mean, I know--knowledge quite unwelcome for me, I must say--that she's done worse with strangers. I'll sleep on it, then, and make a decision about what to do tomorrow. Until then, Diary. Until then... 

Author's Note: So, yes, there was a bit of ShadOuge in this chapter, but I did hint at it in the story description. If you don't like that ship, then I'm sorry, but I can tell you that it's not going to be the main ship in this story (ooh, spoiler!).