1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
A professor was teaching a class of students about logic. He was trying to prove that there was no God. "Has anyone in this class seen God?" He asked. No one answered. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Still, no answer. "Then that proves it." The professor concluded. "There simply is no God!" Suddenly, a student stood up. "Has anyone in this class seen the professor's brain?" He said. No one answered. "Has anyone in this class touched the professor's brain?" Again, no answer. "Then that proves it." The student said. "Our professor simply has no brain!"
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.
"Be nice to nerds. You'll probably end up working for them."
-Bill Gates
we Americans may have a president but Weasley is our king
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.
its you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile!
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.
If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile!
