It's Quite Complicated

Chapter 5

Shock. That would the most obvious thing that I was expressing. At what Damon had told me. I gulp and search his eyes and facial features. He has a playful smirk on his face and he veins that he was joking.

I didn't know how to react, but I didn't want to stay in the same room as him a second longer. I open my mouth to attempt speaking, but nothing comes out. I quickly shut it and gulp. I push myself off and step back a few feet from him. Feeling his scrutinizing stare, I pretend to wipe off lint from my shirt and look down to my feet. After a few seconds, I look back to him and meet his gaze, "I'm going to go see if Mariah wants a water bottle. I'll see you at dinner." He chuckles lightly and shakes his head. I grab my empty water bottle and toss it into the nearby trashcan and grab another water bottle out of the refrigerator for Mariah. I scamper up the stairs, not bothering to look back and see what he is doing.

I walk at a regular pace from the stairs to Mariah's room to calm my racing heart. I don't know why it had begun to do that after he had said what he did. I was slightly confused, with what Mariah had attempted to say and what he had said, it all confused me. Did that mean that he had and might still like me?  I shake my head off from the silly joke. I have enough problems with Shane and Julian already. Adding Damon to my list is certainly not something I want to do. Besides I had locked those past "feelings" away. I mean I was younger and naive, I thought I liked him and with the way he responded to me then, I thought he didn't and never would return what I had felt. I can't say that I might have felt something, after hearing what he said, but to know that he was kidding with me, wasn't something I wanted, I can't even place what it was.

I walk into Mariah's room and she is lying on her bed watching, Grey's Anatomy. She seems so engrossed into the show, she doesn't notice me approaching and laying beside her on her bed. I tug lightly at her hair to bring her attention to me. She picks up her remote and presses pause. "Sup?," she asks.

I ramble the events of what had happened downstairs. She bobs her head as she listens.

I pause and take a breath and then begin to tell her how I feel, "I know what I still feel from Shane, not the same as I had when we were still dating, but close. I like Julian. And I don't know about Damon, it is a different mix of emotions I feel about him. Jeez, this is way too confusing for me. Ugh!"

"Well, you are single and pretty. It is confusing for you, because all of these guys are instantly pining after you. You still have to get closure for both yourself and Shane. You like Julian, of course. Your old feelings from what you had felt for Damon, might try to be resurfacing since he is back and told you what he had told you even if he was joking or not. I think that you could benefit from this in a way." She pauses and waits a second for what she is telling me to sink into my brain and proceeds, "I think that you could benefit from all this. You are a single teenage girl. You have recently been on one date as being single. You could take advantage of that, see what you can feel for Damon since you already know what you feel for Julian. I mean, you have every right. You could explore your possibilities."

I laugh after she is done with her speech and she giggles but acts proud of what she has said. I calm myself and nod my head, "Okay." I can't help but laugh again.

She beams a smile and says, "I'm serious you know, actually in fact, I dare you to. Try to have a few dates with Damon. A few with Julian. Get closure from or to Shane, Do those things along the lines, and sort all the confusion that you are feeling. Heck, maybe what you feel for at least one of them isn't even real, you just think it is. That's why you have to try and that's what I am daring you to do."

My eyes go wide at what she is saying. I think deeply over it and decide my answer. Who am I to turn down a dare? I'm not going to be a chicken and I am a single teenage girl, I have every right to do what I am going to try. I'm not going to go on any dates with Damon, but with Julian I will. And I'll definitely will do the last part she said to do.