To Whom It May Concern

Writing Subject: Her

There are words I wish to write,
But I cannot put them down.
Words to describe what I feel about her,
But I don't know what I feel.
I know it's not love,
But it's something very close.
She's not the feeling of home,
But something of a different flavor. She's new,
A taste of something different.
The feeling of an adventure starting,
Of the moment before you get a surprise.
Of suspense building,
But never releasing,
Until she holds your hand and you think:
"This. This is what I've waited for."
Cuz she's not your first,
And she won't be your last,
But she's what you've wanted for so long and now that it's here it's overwhelming.
Is this real?
Is this happening?
But it is,
And it's everything you've dreamed of and more.
It's running barefoot through mud to jump into a lake,
Holding hands with smiles that outshine the sun.
It's roasting marshmallows by a fire together,
Legs tangled under and old blanket.
It's looking at her,
And realizing you could stare for hours and never get bored.
She's the feeling you get when you look at the stars.
But it's so much,
So much feeling for it being too soon.
And you're young,
You don't have much experience,
And you don't want to scare her.
So you let her set the pace,
Set the standards,
Cuz she's the star of it all and she deserves what she wants.
She's comfortable in her body,
In her lifestyle,
In her future,
In everything you never will be.
So you let her choose how it goes.
Cuz you care for her too much to let it go any other way.
And you sit here drowning in your own depression making up thoughts of a future you'll never reach.
And you want to tell her all this,
Everything you feel,
You think,
You do.
The good,
The bad,
And the ugly.
To help her understand.
Why you feel the way you do,
Think the way you do,
Act the way you do.
Cuz maybe sharing this with her will help her see how you see the relationship and where you're coming from.
Maybe sharing this with her will ease some of the darkness eating away at your heart.
Maybe sharing this with her will let some light back it once again.
Maybe being with her makes you want to live again.