Since When Did You Become a Romantic?

Chapter 7: This is Not a Bro Moment

It's date night for Frank and a regular night for Gerard. He called Frank and set up for them to have a drink at ten on Saturday night. Frank paces around the back of the bar deciding whether to go in or not. He really likes Gerard, but Gerard has never shown any interest other than just being friends. Frank loses it. He can't go in. Walking away from the bar, he feels terrible and because god hates him, Gerard spots him. Before Frank can get to the bus stop, Gerard has caught up to him. "Hey man, where ya going?"

Frank panics and makes up some weird lie. "Um, I gotta go take... Brendon to the hospital."

Gerard pauses for a moment. "Oh my god. I'll come with you." He takes Frank's hand and basically runs to his car.

"No, no, no, it's fine," Frank tries to tell him, but before anyone can get anymore words out, Gerard is already half way to Brendon's.

"What did he do? Is he dead? Where's Ryan? Oh my god, what if they're both hurt??!?" Gerard is basically screaming.

Frank quickly sends Brendon a text and before long they are at the apartment door. Brendon stares at Ryan when he hears the knock and Gerard yelling something about breathing? "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, RYAN I NEED YOU TO COME WITH ME TO THE BATHROOM," he scream whispers. They run into the bathroom and lock the door. Ryan starts making weird hand gestures and demanding to know what's going on. Suddenly, Gerard is banging on the bathroom door. How they got in the apartment is beyond the boys.

"BRENDON, WHAT'S WRONG?" Gerard yells to him.

Brendon panics, sees the dildo sitting in the bathroom and yells, "I got something stuck in my ass?!"

Gerard takes a step back and looks at Frank who shrugs. "Um, what's stuck?" he asks cautiously.

"A dildo?" Ryan answers.

"Ryan?" Gerard asks.

"Please help me," Ryan whispers.

"Okay, just come out and we'll help you... remove it... from your ass..."

Brendon's eyes get really big. "Just a minute." He grabs the dildo from the counter and shoves it against Ryan's chest. "Help me out, bro," he whispers.

"This is not a 'bro moment,' Brendon," Ryan whispers back. "Won't this hurt?" he asks, waving it around like a wand.

Brendon has already taken his pants off. "Nah, I got this." Before Ryan can ask what "it" is, Brendon has ripped a plug from his fucking ass. "Where's the lube?" Ryan snaps out of it and slowly looks for lube in the cabinet while still looking at Brendon. Eventually, he finds it and coats the fucking dildo in the fucking goop.

"Here," he mumbles and hands it out to Brendon.

"No, you need to shove it up there, bro," Brendon reminds.

Ryan sighs. "Lord, help me."

Brendon and a red faced Ryan stumble out of the bathroom. Frank and Gerard are sitting on the floor. Brendon stands there with his hands on his hips, no pants and a shirt on. Frank's eyes widen and Gerard just sighs. "Okay, so who has the longest fingers?" The two on the ground stare at each other in confusion. Frank sighs again and Gerard starts looking at his hands. The two stand up and start talking about how to get it out of his ass. Ryan sits on the couch with his head in his hands.

"So do we use tongs?" Frank asks stupidly.

"No, Frank. I have heard enough tampon horror stories to know to never shove tongs anywhere near an orifice," Gerard explains.

Brendon sighs and, without thinking, he sits down on the couch. His face goes from 'fuck this' to 'fuck me ;).' Everyone stares at him and it clicks when he realizes what he has done. The dildo is now actually stuck up his ass. "Help me," he whispers quickly.