I Love Him...And Him?

I Love Him...And Him? Chapter 9

Riley's heart started to beat faster. She didn't like to even think about her past, let alone talk about it. She turned to Miles and started to talk. "Ok. Well, my mom and dad were married. I was planned and they couldn't have been more thrilled when I came. At first, my life was completely normal and wonderful. Then, when I was eight, my mom was hit by a drunk driver and she was killed. It was the most horrific and hardest thing I've ever experienced. I didn't think it could ever get any worse. My dad went into a deep depression and started to take depression medication. At first, I thought things were going to get better. My dad was taking his meds and we were starting to move on. One night, my dad overdosed on his pills and to make it worse, he took them with alochol. He didn't make it. When I was 10, I was sent to a foster home with people that hated me and I hated them back. I moved again when I was 14. The new parents were nice at first, but I could tell I was more of a burden then a blessing to them. When I turned 18, I moved away and I didn't look back."

Riley started to cry again. Talking about her parents always did that to her. Miles wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she snuggled into his side. Despite all of the tears, it felt good to talk about it. She needed to get those emotions out. Miles wrapped his arms tighter around Riley's shoulders. He cleared his throat. "Thank you for sharing that with me. Are you ok?" She pulled back to look at him.

"Ya, I'm ok." Miles put his hands on Riley's face and used his thumbs to wipe her tears away. They sat in silence, staring at eachother for a couple of minutes until Miles leaned in and kissed her. His kiss was soft and slow. He was gentle and loving. He didn't try to go any farther then just that slow kiss and his hands stayed on her face. Riley felt the wall that she had built up over the years crumble the rest of the way. She tangled her hands in his hair and let his kiss sweep her up. When they pulled away, Riley looked at Miles. "Miles, honestly, do you think I'm a bad person?"

He looked at her with a horrified expression on his face. "Of course not. Why would I think that?"

She looked down at her hands. "Because. I'm engaged to another man yet I kiss you and let you spend the night with me and we have these heart to heart conversations. Not only am I cheating on my fiancé, I'm leading you on like crazy. Doesn't that make me a slut?" Riley didn't think that she could feel any

worse about herself. She was a cheater. She had always hated people who would cheat on their spouse or significant other. And now, she was one. She knew that she shouldn't be in her apartment with Miles.

When they were alone together, it only ever lead to bad things.

Miles looked horrified. He pulled Riley closer to him and rested his head on hers.

Miles's grip on Riley tightened. "You are not a slut at all. You're just confused right now. I do not think you are a terrible person at all. I don't help matters by coming on to you constantly."

Riley shook her head and got up off of the couch. She stood with her back facing Miles. "We need to stop doing this. I need to tell Mike what happened and hope that he still wants to marry me. You need to find a girlfriend and then we can both move on."

She heard Miles let out a big sigh. "I don't want to move on or find a girlfriend. The only girl I want is off limits. I don't want you to be upset or feel bad and I don't want you to have to cheat on your fiancé. But I'm not going to lie to you Riley. I would rather have part of you then none at all."

His words broke Riley's heart. She knew he was developing very strong feelings for her and all she did

was lead him on only to throw the fact that she was engaged in his face. She needed time to think. She

needed time away from Miles and away from Mike. She needed time to figure herself out. "Miles. I know that you have feelings for me. And I'm not going to lie. I have some feelings for you that I don't really

understand but they're there. But you have to understand that I can't just throw away everything I have

with Mike to take a chance with someone I barely know."

The look on his face turned to a mixture of anger and hurt. "Oh so you barely know me now? Was that conversation that I spilled my guts to you just a joke to you or something? Because I was being serious! You know what, go have fun with your fiancé. Have a great wedding and a great life. I'll see you at work." With that he got up, walked out of her apartment and slammed the door on his way out.

Riley's eyes welled up with tears. She was so confused. It broke her heart that Miles was upset. She wanted him to come back so that they could talk it out. Riley knew that she hadn't been lying when she had said that she had feelings for Miles. But she also knew for a fact that she was deeply in love with Mike. Riley closed her eyes. She couldn't possibly have feelings for two guys, could she?