This Is Pretty. Odd.//Panic! At The Disco FanFic/Ryan Ross FanFic

I Had The World

I didn't expect it! I actually didn't know what to do. It freaked me out. He knows it too.

This... I don't know how to explain it. It's odd. I've kissed loads of people. Many. But. There was something to this kiss with Ryan. I can't explain it. A brick wall? Maybe. No. Not a brick wall. Not that. Ice cream? Maybe it was ice cream. I'm not much of an ice cream person. Good music? Maybe. Feathers? That's what it is. Feathers. That sounds weird. But I guess it's better than a brick wall...

"Three years. I waited three years to kiss you and make it mean something. Last night's didn't count." He murmured before moving his left hand to my cheek. "Imagine waiting three fucking years for that." He did it again. This time more lovingly. More feathery. "If you want something badly, make it last. Make it count. You don't know when if it will ever happen again. So, you make it last." He whispered, pulling me close to whisper in my ear. "You want something. Go for it. And when you go for it, make it last."

He moved away from me and looked at me. "I don't care if you hate me or not, Amy. I'm just asking. One date. One date that's it. And if you still hate me afterwards, we don't have to go on another one." Ryan said, pulling off his shirt and throwing it at me. I made a face and pushed it away from my body. "We're free. We should have a free day this week. You. Me. A movie. Doesn't matter what movie. Just a movie. And, then, we'll go back to the hotel and go to our separate rooms." He pulled off his jeans and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. He slid those on and leaned on my bunk again. "So, what do you say, Amy?" He asked, looking at me.

I was still holding the wipe. I was still in shock of what he just did.

"One movie. That's it. No inappropriate touching. No making out in the back of the movie theater. I'll allow hand holding. That's it. I'll go see a movie with you, Ryan. But, if I still hate you after the movie, you don't get to keep asking me out and you don't get to kiss me to make me change my mind."

"Fair enough." He looked at me before taking the wipe from me and finished wiping his face. "You can keep the shirt. It smells like vanilla." He smirked.

"Why does it smell like vanilla?" I asked quietly.

"It makes me feel less lonely. You know, because I forgot what it feels like to have somebody loves or likes me." He repeated my words. "And you're right. I can have anyone I want. But I chose the merch girl." He stated, placing a hand on the open space that was on my bed. "I fell for the merch girl. So what? Why does it matter? Just be lucky I don't want to murder you, Amelia." He paused and looked up at me. He moved close to my face again. "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." He crawled under to his bed, leaving me with his shirt and his dirty wipe.

I threw the wipe down into his bunk before picking up his shirt. I smelt it before contemplating on throwing it down to him.

'jesus. Ryan. You nerd.' I whispered, barely audible. I stuffed it under my pillow. I slid my headphones on and tried to sleep.

I can't. I can't sleep. It's not coming. It's never going to come. Why? Because the person I happen to not like is taking me to go see a movie this week and I'm worried that I won't hate him after the movie. I can't have a boyfriend. I've never had one. So, I don't know what to with one anyway. What does one do with a 'boyfriend'?

"I can you. You know? The walls are paper thin." Ryan announced. I rolled my eyes and turned to my side.

"Good. That means we can have chats." I stated, pulling my bunk door closed.

{***}

"I can't believe you said yes, Aggie." Brendon walked down the long hallway that would lead to our bedrooms. Luckily enough for me, his room is next door. AND he's sharing with Ryan tonight. Lucky me. Next door too. Great.