Give Me Love (Finn Harries)

Chapter 38

(A/N): Only two more chapters to go :) PS - for those of you who don't know, I'm posting my Harry Styles fanfiction here as soon as I've finished with this one, so keep your eyes peeled! xx

…

Finn’s thumb grazed my nose; lightly and lovingly, spreading a sense of warmth throughout my body. He smiled his crooked smile at me and softly twisted a strand of my hair on his finger.

“Do you think we’ll ever get married?” he asked quietly.

“Of course I do.” was my sudden and sure response. I wasn’t lying - I really did see us getting married one day. Chapels, white dresses, tuxes, the whole shebang. Even if it wasn’t right here, right now, we would be lawfully wedded one day. And who knows, we could even have a few kids.

“I love you,” he said quietly.

“I love you too, Finny.”

Comfortable silence consumed us: the only sounds were the pitter-pattering of the rain on the window, and the occasional ambulance or police car whirring past. It was nice - not having to fill the quiet emptiness with mindless natterings.

The silence was broken by a worried ‘Shit!’ from Finn.

“Don’t you have work today?” he said, leaping up to check the alarm clock beside the bed.

I grimaced, anticipating his reaction. “I, uh, I quit. Yesterday.”

His eyes widened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He was edging on anger, like a car halfway off of a cliff. All he needed was that extra weight to tip his emotions over. “I just thought you’d be mad at me if I quit so I kinda just… Didn’t tell you,” I replied simply. “Jack didn’t think it was such a big deal.”

As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, I knew it was wrong of me to have said it, especially in such a flippant manner. If he wasn’t angry before, he certainly was now - his eyes nearly bugging out of his head as steam practically poured out of his ears.

“You told Jack and not me?” he inquired irritatedly, growing more infuriated by the second. He stood, clenching his fists.

“I just didn’t want you to freak out, that’s all!”

“Freak out over what, Liv? I don’t care that you’ve quit! I’m happy for you!” he said defensively. I hesitated for a short moment, and that was all he needed to figure out that there was something more to the story than me just being unhappy about my job. I guess he knew me much better than I had originally anticipated, which was frightening in itself. We’d known each other, what, 9 months? “What else is there?” he demanded forcibly. “What else are you not telling me?”

“It’s nothing. Honestly-“

“I’ve had enough of not knowing anymore, Olive. I tell you everything, and what do I get in return? Nothing. It’s like you don’t care about me at all. I want to feel like this isn’t a one-sided thing, but right now, it is. And it sucks,” he said, changing tones immediately. Now, he sounded vulnerable, weak, tired. I hated it - hearing him like that. He was supposed to be the strong one, according to all romance novels ever published.

I tossed up between telling and not telling for a short while before I could see him growing impatient. “It would just make things worse if I told you,” I said quietly, unable to meet his vibrant green eyes that I had disappointed in so many ways.

“You’re not gonna tell me?” he paused. “I guess that’s it, then,” he replied indignantly, pulling on a pair of trousers and grabbing his necessities - phone, keys, wallet, laptop.

“Yeah,” I said lamely.

“Call me when you feel like you want to have a real relationship. You know, with both people instead of just one?” he added harshly, walking out the door before I had a chance to respond.

As soon as the door closed behind him, I burst into tears. Pure, unadulterated sobbing. I hated myself for not saying something. I didn’t care about that silly little girl, so why should Finn?

Finn’s POV:

I stopped for a moment when I heard crying. I softened for a moment, I hadn’t heard her crying in a while and I’d forgotten how much it hurt to hear that godforsaken sound. It was kind of like being stabbed in the chest repeatedly with a very sharp knife. I pushed out a cough and told myself to focus: if she wasn’t going to tell me the truth, it wouldn’t hurt to freeze her out for a couple of days. I forced myself to walk out, away from the depressing sound of the love of my life bawling her eyes out over me. No matter how loud I turned my music up, it still didn’t blast out the feeling of ultimate loneliness. I kept going to reach out for someone that wasn’t there.

The last time we fought was disastrous - what if she found she didn’t need me? What if she could just get on with things on her own? I mean, she was independent enough. She relied on other heavily, but when they left, she could adapt just as easily. Sam, Noah and her parents were evident of that. Why or how should I be any different?