Buttfucks McGee

S1/E12: Final Decapitation

"Like I said before I got interrupted by the cliffhanger, I wish for us to wake up from this dream." Jordan wished for.

"Nooooo!" Screamed Freddie.

Jordan, Sally, Becky, and Carrie wake up.

"That was the weirdest dream I ever had." Carrie said.

"I've had better sex dreams than that." Sally said.

"I'm sorry you didn't get to make your wish Carrie." Mark said.

"It's alright. I have telekinetic powers anyway. So what more can I ask for?"

"Maybe to find out who the killer is?" Jordan suggested.

"But guys! Look at the clock! It's 5:59 in the morning! Only one more minute until The Purge is over!"

"But that clock is broken. It's supposed to be for 5:59 in the evening."

"Shit! How are we gonna get out of this now?" Carrie said.

"How about your fucking telekinetic powers?" Jordan suggested.

"Oh right."

Carrie finally uses her powers to pull the ropes around her arms and legs unloose.

"I'm free you bitches!"

"Great! Now get us out of here!"

"Fuck to the no! I'm out of this! I'm going to the tanning salon."

Carrie goes to the tanning salon and meets Katniss Everdeen.

"Are you tanning too?" Carrie asked.

"Yeah. I'm so pale, people mistake me for a sperm cell."

"Well there are two tanning beds. I guess we can both go."

"Together? Excuse me but I'm not a lesbian."

"No! Separately."

"Alright then."

Both girls enter the tanning beds with their bikinis on. They wait for a few minutes inside. The tanning beds get hotter and hotter. Both girls have trouble breathing and are sweating.

"This is getting too hot. I might leave." Carrie says.

"Yeah. Me too."

They decide to get out and they begin to push the top up. But it won't open. They begin to bang their hands on the top, trying to get it open. Both girls continue to try to open the wrong side of the tanning bed. To the left of them, on the top of the tanning bed, it says "Push This Side to Open". They scream and their skin begins to darken and burn. They look at their arms and legs and scream even louder.

"I didnt want this dark of a tan!" Katniss screamed.

The glass of the tanning beds breaks under the weight of the girls. The tanning bed burst into flames and Alicia Keys comes to salon.

"These girls are on fire! These girls are on fire! Their walking on fire!" Alicia sings.

Meanwhile, Jordan, Sally, and Becky are still tied to their beds.

"What are we going to do now?"

"It's time for the killer to show his face."

The killer whines.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Every retarded serial killer reveals himself in the end of the movie."

"Alright, here it goes."

The killer takes off the mask. It's Jennifer.

"It was you? But how? Your blood was all over the window."

"It was my period blood." Jennifer said.

"But it splattered everywhere."

"That's how strong my vagina is."

"Okay that explains it. But why did you do it?"

"Because I-"

Jennifer's head gets blown apart by a gun.

"Well gang, it looks like our mystery is solved here." Said Fred.

"Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Gang! What are you doing here?" Jordan asked.

"We were trying to solve the mystery of who the killer is" Velma said.

"But we got bored and shot that nigga down." Shaggy said.

"What time is it? Has The Purge ended yet?"

"The Purge is just a movie." Daphne said.

"Oh, well then...can you untie us?"

"Scooby Dooby Doo Mother Fucka."

Buttfucks, Baby Bitch, and Mark return home.

"Mom!" The kids screamed.

"Who dafuq are you?" The mom replied.

"We're your kids."

"Oh yeah."

"And we've returned!'

"Great! I have good news!"

"What is it?" The kids asked.

"I bought a bigger crack pipe for us to live in!" The mother announced.

"Where is it?" Buttfucks asked.

"Over there."

The kids look at the new giant crack pipe with shit smear on the walls, dead prostitutes in the front yard, dead children back yard, a kiddie pool filled with semen, and two people having sex in a cage in the front yard...

"This place looks like......my kind of style."

THE END...OR NAH?