I spend restless nights staring at the blankness of the ceiling
Trying to clear my mind of these relentless feelings
But even in a crowded room I still feel painstakingly alone
I wanted to be better so I gave up everything I owned
Instead of a blissful serenity I realized the hole was still there
Tearing at the edges and crumbling more getting deeper
Not everything is black and white there are different hues
Because you were a dab of color on my blank palate it was you
I took a step back away from the edge I grabbed the noose around my neck
I threw it to the ground and vowed I'd never be back
The darkness inside my head beckons me back day after day
I call you up with tears in my throat and you say sh it'll be okay
We all have a stroll that teeters between dark and light
But you have to pick one or the other but only you decide
Wearing a smile in a crowd of people that love me but don't know I'm dying
Perhaps opening up is the strength that's faltering
Pain used to be a distant memory that I pushed away
But maybe strength is embracing the pain for a better day
I fell in love with a girl the moment we started talking it sparked
The following week she told me she almost ended it that night in the dark
I held her close and told her I'd never let her be alone
She knew all of my addictions to which I had become prone
She slowly developed a smile that tugged at the edge of her mouth getting bigger each week
She said her future no longer felt as bleak
It's funny how things change she got better because of me
But I'm held back by my demons that are actually me
She promised to go through it with me and help me better better
It's crazy how one person can be your tether
When you're battling the dark inside yourself
Just remember you're fighting yourself
