why me?

Chapter 1

Silent cries can never be heard but can be felt from heart to heart. One heart needs to be willingly showing its weakness and the other needs to have the ability to realize the weakness and make it its own in order to heal the other.

That night was the night! The night when I lost my virtue, my self respect, everything. Yeah I had lost everything that night. I knew I couldn't say no to him that night. I remember chanting to myself that this is just for tonight Misha, just for tonight.

That night he broke me in every way possible. He took the only thing I knew I could give to my future husband, myself. All I had was myself to offer to the person who would make me his but now I don't even have that.

A knock on my office cabin broke my chain of thoughts. "May I come in ma'am" Surbhi peeked through the door.

"Yeah come in"

"Ma'am the contract has finally been completed. Now the Vadhera's own only 40% of our shares and the max is under your family's name. Congratulations ma'am" she smiled at me

I gave a slight smile and nodded my head.

It was 7 in the night when I reached home.

"Hey di... How was your day? You know what!? Jay has finally asked me out and I am soooooo happy!!!" My little sister Priya chimed at the top of her voice. She is not my real sister, she is my Mahesh Chachu's daughter(paternal uncle). She started whirling me around and hugged me. I almost choked..

"Ohoo priya beta, stop choking your sister" My Sakshi chachi (Mahesh chachu's wife) scolded her.

"Okie okie mom, relax. I love my sissy dii too much to even pinch her" she laughed in a very bubbly way and left for her room saying that she has a test to study for. She is actually studying in first year of university, doing economics honours.

My chachi came towards me and touched my cheek very lovingly, in a motherly touch and said "Beta I am very proud of you, I am sure your parents are also very proud of you."

My chachu(Mahesh), along with my grandparents, my bua Aarti(paternal aunt) and her husband Subhash came and my four cousins surrounded me.

" Misha, you have truly made all of us very very proud bacha." My grandpa and chachu said together, while my grand mom put a very motherly hand over my head. As they said this, all I could think was that I have disgraced this very beautiful family, I will never be able to forgive myself.

Then my cousin brothers Adi, Akhil along with our younger sister priya hugged the life out of me. All of us sat in the living room and Adi( short for Aditya) and priya started arguing what movie to watch. All this while my elder cousin brother  Avi (short for Avinash) stared at me.

He motioned me that he wanted to talk to me privately.

I quietly followed him outside the living room. Nobody seemed to notice as they were busy chatting and laughing amongst themselves.

"What is it Avi bahiya?" I asked him.

"Princess what have you done?" he seemed angry. For a minute, I thought he knew what  happened between me and that devil two weeks ago.. that dreadful night. I was paralyzed on the spot thinking what my elder brother was thinking about me being cheap.

He continued, " I know what kind of man this Vivan Vadhera is! He never lets go easily. He was my best friend since school until 2 years ago when something happened. But due to our merged businesses I am unable to keep him out of our lives. He has turned into a very arrogant man now, very unlike the friend I knew Misha. I tried all my best to make him sign that contract but he didn't agreed. But how come you were able to convince him, haan?"

So he didn't know. Two feelings overwhelmed me immediately, one of relief that he didn't know and the other of fear as to how can I lie to him about what happened.

"Bhaiya, I.. um..Actually.. he .."

"Haan what Misha, tell me, don't hesitate. If he crossed his limits in any way, wether professionally or personally I will make sure he rots in hell"

"No bhaiya, He wanted the company I started myself a year ago. He was always behind it as was gaining profits at a very fast rate. I always refused every deal he made with me. But now for this  contract, I gave him the company and he transfer 20% of his shares to us, making us the major shareholders of the company papa started long with his dad" This was not a lie, it was one of the clauses of our deal.

"But why are any of us unable to go through the deal you both signed if this is the only thing in it ?"

What was I thinking ? How will my super smart and genius businessman brother every let me go easily for this.

" I don't know Bhai, please leave it. Now its done and lets enjoy with our family. Finally we have taken back our rightful shares from his family. Lets not ruin this occasion by talking about him and stupid conditions!"

"Ok Ok princess. I trust you on this. Lets go.. our wonderful family awaits!" He found his arm around my shoulder and we went back to our family.

At night, as I lay in bed, thinking how my life has turned out.. My worst memory doesn't leave me alone. Please God forgive me for my wrong doings, If I had another choice I would have never done this. It is a sin, I know, I will never forgive myself but please give me strength to keep this family strong and follow my parents' legacy.

With that I closed my eyes to be enveloped into sleep.............only to realize that my worst nightmare is always haunting me, like every other night since the last two weeks.