why me?

Chapter 20

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There is a lot happening in this chapter

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Third Person POV

She bowed her head in front of the holy Guru Granth Sahib Ji and sat listening to the melody of God. Her heart ached and she wanted some peace. But she didn't know that here at the Gurudwara, God would actually answer her prayers.

The soothing shabads were being sung by the raagis. The tune was melodious and the words grabbed Misha's attention. 

"Those who have hearts of stone are not able to sit in front of God himself, Only those with true hearts are accepted by him. He governs everything, not even a leaf can sway without his permission...." Misha felt soothing yet conflicted at the same time. 

She trusted God, she trusted destiny but why did bad things have to happen to her. What wrong had she done, she thought continuously. Even a leaf moves with his blessing then how can god let her suffer this way. Why? Why her? Why Me? Misha thought to herself. Trying to forget the negativity she closed her eyes and thought about her child, her blessing.

After a while, she felt better and got up to take Prasad and stumbled upon Granthi Ji (Each Gurdwara has a Granthi who organizes the daily services and reads from the Guru Granth Sahib.). "Misha beta, you are here after so long? and you got married ?" he smiled looking at the mangal sutra that she wore on her neck. 

"Sat Sri Akal Ji, yes I got married few months back."

"What is it beta, why do you look confused?" he asked assessing her closely. She was shocked about how he knew that she was having an internal battle.

"Granthi Ji.... woh...  if even a leaf moves with his blessing then how can god let his children suffer while bad things happen to them. I was conflicted over the shabad that was playing" she asked 

He smiled looking at her "Beta it is all a matter of faith in the lord. Your faith and belief are stronger than you might think. Every human faces problems, some much bigger than others. But you need to have faith in the lord that things happen for a reason. Often bad things, make us stronger. Yes, they hurt us, and yes they may be unjustified but these hard things make us stronger and bring out the better in us.... to shape a pot, an artist has to put it in severe heat and also slap it hard to shape it and bring out the best pot. Similarly, the god himself is an artist and we his pots. "

"But how can we move beyond our past? How can we move on if someone who hurts us beyond repair?" she did not know why she was asking Granthi ji about this, but she could not stop herself.

"There is Forgiveness. The lord says - To practice forgiveness is the true contentment. Our sufferings make us feel hurt, pain, and most of all we lose contentment in life. Either you want to forget the person and move on OR you want to forgive the person and move on. Forgiveness will give you contentment whereas forgetting will not. Only those with big hearts can forgive. So Misha, if you want to move on, then deep in your heart you have to actually forgive them. Your anger will only grow with time unless you forgive beta."