Slipping Away

Chapter 44

February 28th, 1996

Six nominations. Six nominations and she lost them all. Mariah couldn't believe what she had just sat through, wondering how it was possible when her album had been critically acclaimed and was one of the highest selling albums 1995. As the show was coming to a close, she glared at Tommy. He was responsible for this loss one way or another.

"Looks like you were wrong about this album, Mariah." He said.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You think this was about music? This was about everything you did, everything you wanted me to be. This fake persona, this pop music, all of this is you. It's not me."

"Oh so now you want to blame your failures on me? It's not my fault you're a terrible songwriter." He shrugged. "Now, why don't you come home and we can get started on this follow-up album?"

"I'm not leaving with you." She hissed.

Tommy chuckled. "You're not serious about this divorce, are you?"

"I'm as serious as a heart attack. I'm not going with you." She said, gripping the arms of her chair. "I'm going home, where I belong. At Neverland."

"What about your mother? She all but sold you to me anyway." He whispered.

Mariah closed her eyes. "I'm a grown woman. My mom can't tell me what to do."

"She'll be having a visit from some of my friends and I know you don't want that." He countered.

She glanced around to see if anyone else had heard. "You wouldn't."

Tommy scoffed. "I would and if you don't come home tonight, you won't see your mother again."

Mariah glanced over at Michael, who was watching them, then at Tommy. "I'm not leaving with you. You don't scare me anymore." 

"I don't have to scare you, but know that I'm the one in control." He clamped down on her hand. "You're still my wife."

"The divorce will be final next month. I'm not your wife and you don't own me." She snapped, getting up from her seat. 

She stormed from the room and she could hear footsteps following her. She turned around and Michael was standing there. She sighed in relief, running into his arms.

"What did he say to you?" He asked.

She shook her head. "He wants me to go back with him. He threatened to hurt my mother."

Michael shook his head. "He said that just to scare you."

"I know and for the first time...it didn't." She laughed. "He doesn't scare me anymore. He's scared of me because he can't control me."

Michael grinned. "That's the Mariah I know. That's my Mimi."

He pulled her into a tight embrace and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I feel free, like a butterfly."

March 6th, 1996

Michael pulled his pajamas out of his bag while Mariah was furiously writing in her notebook. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to disturb her creative process. She had been writing almost constantly since they had left the Grammys. It was clear after that snub that she was trying to make an album that was going to outdo Daydream. Now, they were in Japan for the beginning of her tour and he was already feeling the jetlag.

He came out of the bathroom and laid down beside her when she threw down her notebook.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing."

"Mariah..."He chided.

Mariah frowned. "I don't think these lyrics are good."

He held out his hand. "Can I see?"

She handed him the notebook which was turned to a song entitled Butterfly.

When you love someone so deeply they become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you I must open up my hands
And watch you riseSpread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sunIf you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
ButterflyI have learned that beauty has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage to be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will lead you back to me
When you're ready to land

"I think these are some of the most beautiful lyrics you've ever written." He said as handed it back to her.

She smiled. "You really think so?"

"Yes, I do, but it's not about what I think. It's about what you feel, this will be your first album without Tommy in your ear telling you what to do or what sound to go with. Show the people who you really are, the Mariah I love."

She blushed and he gave her a light peck on the lips. Though Mariah was no longer afraid of Tommy, she was still struggling with nightmares of her marriage and dealing with her own esteem issues. Michael could tell she wasn't all the way back to where she had been when he met her, but she had come so far from where she had been three months ago. He still remembered when Janet had to call her before entering her own condo so that Mariah wouldn't freak out. It was a slow, but steady recovery.

She batted her eyelashes at him. "We've known each other for almost six years."

"Yeah, time has flown." He chuckled. "I still remember the day I first met you."

"Yeah? I remember when you took me on that picnic by your secret place." She sighed wistfully. "We're were so innocent then."

"Do you remember the time?" He sang playfully, nudging her gently.

She smirked briefly before sighing again. "Things were so much simpler then too."

"They still can be simple." He pointed out. "You can't tell me that being here together doesn't bring back old feelings."

Michael wanted nothing more for Mariah to let him back in, but she was so guarded. He could understand why, she felt the need to protect herself, but he wanted her to let him in. He knew he had to give her time, but he wanted to know where her head was.

"Mariah?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"How are you feeling about this...whatever it is we're doing?" He asked.

She leaned on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you want to take this further?"