My Jesus Journal

Senior Day Sermon

This was the sermon that I wrote and preached at my church for senior day. I went through it quickly and kind of adjusted some things so that you would understand, or that it would fit better to whoever may be reading.

I remember the first time that I ever heard one of the seniors talk at my church's children's day, and I remember being nervous to one day have to present, myself. I remember thinking of what I would possibly say while I was up there, all eyes on me, tons of people expecting a great message. My ideas for that message changed just about every year, until finally, a few weeks ago, I got the idea to bring all of my ideas together into one message. My message in one sentence is: Trust God to use your problems for good.

2Corinthians 1:8-9 says "We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead."

I love that verse. It's so real. God has placed it on my heart to share something real, that many people may be facing or may need to hear. Somebody that I love once told me that the number one f word used by Christians was the word 'fine'. We go around and when we're asked how we are, we say that we're fine, even if we aren't. Even if we feel completely broken inside, we have this mask to hide what we've gone through, and what we're going through. Today, my mask is off. Today, I'm kind of going to share my testimony, I'm going to share things that I have experienced in hopes that I may be able to inspire at least one of you, and help you to realize that no matter what you're facing right now, you're not alone. Whatever you're facing right now, whatever problems you may be experiencing, trust God to use it for GOOD.

Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Anxiety was something that I struggled with almost my whole life. It got so bad over the past year that I would have several panic attacks every week, I felt anxious at every moment of every day, and I had to take a break from things that I once loved. I couldn't be on stage anymore, as soon as I knew that I was going to be on stage, I would freak out about it until it was over. I considered giving up the opportunity to share this sermon with my church because the idea of being up on stage in front of all those people, speaking, terrified me.

Anxiety has this power to control you. Part of you wants to do something, but the other part of you tells you that you can't, and you're just frozen, you can't let yourself do it. Whether it's speaking up during class, or going to the store, everything is just terrifying. With anxiety came doubt, I didn't believe in myself...there were people who sang better than me, there were people who were nicer, there were people who were better looking, and I beat myself up constantly over everything...I was so terrified of what other people would think of me, but the only person who was really thinking anything negative was myself. I used to be bullied in school, starting from 2nd grade, but I wasn't really dealing with other bullies anymore, I was bullying myself. I realized that I didn't want to live like this anymore, that I needed to change something. I started going to counseling, and I started reading my bible more, I started talking to God more...and the amount of progress I made in just a few months was incredible. I got to the point where, when I walked in a store, I could go by myself and feel confident. I got better at talking to people, speaking up in class, and so much more. And while I was improving, there was still one thing that made me anxious. I'm a part of Teens for Christ, which is a concert that my church does a few times a year. I wasn't going to do the most previous concert...because I knew that I needed a break to get back on track with God, and I didn't want to be up here for the wrong reasons. When Barb (my pastor's wife) asked me if I was in, I felt God telling me to say yes, and so I did. Then I found out that I was singing the opening song, and that caused a panic attack almost every time I thought about it. I was trapped in this fear; I even got to the point where I dreaded practice. I realized I told a bunch of people about the first concert we ever did, and as time went by, I stopped telling people about the concerts that we would have. The amount of anxiety that had developed throughout that time was overwhelming...Before I knew it, May 15th had come, and it was the day of our concert. As we were waiting to come out, all of me was shaking, and I came out, and I sat down, and I closed my eyes, and I prayed. The old me would not have done that, yes, I was still dealing with this anxiety, but I was getting closer to God. And, I walked up to the mic, and I sang the first verse, and the bridge, and then I closed my eyes. I was still shaking, and I remember just asking God to calm me down, because that voice was NOT mine, he didn't give me it for my own selfish reasons, he gave me this voice to glorify him, and to spread his word. As I opened my eyes to sing that next verse, I wasn't shaking. That anxious feeling was gone. I felt happy to be up on stage, like I was meant to be there, and I just felt these tears in my eyes. If we pray, and if we expect God to answer our prayers in the way that they are meant to be answered, then it WILL happen.