BTS: I Think I Love You

Chapter 12

My pace quickens as I lean against the stall of the men's restroom. I don't know who it's going to be today, and I don't care. Whoever it is, I hope they do what they need to do and leave me alone. I feel very emotional today, and I'm not sure why.

My eyes widen as the door opens slowly, someone's head coming into view. I'm surprised by the fact that there is more than one voice echoing in the lit up room. My eyes widen even more when I see that it is Jhope and Jin who walked in. Did they hear about what happens? I was hoping that they wouldn't succumb to the temptation. They seemed nice at first, but I guess I was wrong.

"What are you doing in here!?!"

Jin covers the front of his pants, which he was in the middle of unzipping. Jhope's face flushes a bright pink color, making me think that maybe they weren't here to use me. Don't they know that this bathroom is off limits at lunch and break?

"You know this is the men's restroom right?" Jhope says, his ears taking over the red color as well. I shrug my shoulders as they continue to stare at me, me fiddling with my hands nervously. I need them to leave. If someone comes in and they are still there I'm not sure what might happen to them.

"Um....can you leave?"

I look at Jin with sadness in my eyes as I shake my head no. I can't leave. I would get in so much trouble. They think that what happened to me earlier this week was bad, but I've gotten much worse. My punishment would be something like what they show in criminal tv shows where the victim is beaten so badly they are almost unrecognizable.

Jhope looks at Jin with a confused expression on his face. He is about to speak when I hear more voices outside of the door. My heart speeds up and my palms start to get sweaty. No one can know they are in here. Maybe if it was Suga or V I wouldn't mind as much, but not Jhope and Jin. I can't allow them to be hurt. They are two of the nicest guys in their group.

"Quick! Hide in the stall!" I whisper to them. They look confused, but they do as I say. I stand on a toilet so that I can see them over the stall walls. They look up at me with concerned faces, but I wave them off.

"Put earphones in or something. Just don't come out until I say you can."

With that, I stand straight on the floor once again, facing the bathroom door. My hands shake as Tom enters the bathroom, a smirk on his face.

"Hello Z. Long time no see."

I shake in fear as he comes towards me, playing with one of my ponytails.

"Are you ready?" He asks while pulling down on it. My head whips to the side as he slaps me in the face, a red handprint materializing.

"Get on your knees."

I hesitate, my legs shaking with fear and uncertainty.

"I said get on your knees!"

I quickly do as I'm told, waiting as he unbuttons his pants and slides them down his legs. Tears stream down my face as he grabs my chin and forces my mouth open.

"Stop crying whore. Besides, you should be used to this by now."

He's right. I am just a whore.

I should be used to this.

He finishes his business, his eyes shut from his personal pleasure. He puts his pants back on, patting me on the head before leaving the room. I slide down the wall and onto my butt, tears sliding down my face in continuous rivers.

Why does this have to happen to me?

What did I do to deserve this torture?

I am so absorbed in my own torment and self pity that I don't notice when the bathroom stall at the end of the room opens and two worried teens walk out. They walk towards me, their steps light and calculated.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

I jump at their voices, my eyes widening in shock. I had totally forgotten they were still here. At least they don't know about what happened in here. I wipe at my eyes, nodding as a sign that I am alright.

"I'm fine. Just go to class."

They look doubtful, but they leave none the less. Why would they stay? They don't know me. They don't know what I have to go through. They have no reason to be worried about me.

I pick myself off the ground, my legs shaking from landing on the floor so hard earlier. I wet my face with the water from the sink, but the redness from my eyes is still present. I hope no one notices, because that would be something else for them to make fun of me about. They look at even the smallest things about me to critique and make fun of. Nothing about me is right, so they take pleasure in making my life miserable. I don't know why they insist on doing this, but they do, and there is nothing I can do to prevent them from doing so.

I just want all of this to end. I want everyone to go back to their lives and mind their own business. I want everyone to stop bothering me. I want everyone to ignore me, act like I am not even there. If that were to happen, my life would be so much easier.

I wouldn't feel like shit every single day. I wouldn't feel like dying, ending my misery right there and then.

No one would miss me.

My mom wouldn't have to pay for me anymore. The kids at school would just have to find someone else to pick on. My presence wouldn't be missed at all. It would be as if I were never there.

Sometimes, I feel like disappearing would just be easier.