BTS: I Think I Love You

Chapter 29

I walk down the crowded hallway with my head down, my eyes cast towards the floor. I try and ignore all of the mean and derogatory names that are being thrown my way, but it's hard. I had cracked open my shell and let those seven guys in. I had let them get past the cold and uncaring part of me, my icy shell melting. The words sting me like lemon juice squeezed into fresh cuts. My heart is broken, and I don't think it will ever be able to be fixed.

I miss them. I miss him. I had loved him, and I still do. Hearing him say those words to me had really hit me hard, his determination to ignore my presence making me feel that much worse. It has been a month of him and the guys ignoring my existence, going back to how it was before they had befriended me except worse. They had at least talked to me back then. Now they turn their faces in the other direction, pretending I am nothing more than a piece of unwanted furniture in the corner.

I just wish they would let me explain. Maybe then we could talk again. I don't want them to think that I had been lying to them. What kind of sick, messed up person would do something like that? The fact that they think that I would do that breaks my heart even more. I haven't stopped thinking about Jungkook's face on the rooftop when he confronted me. The disgust, hatred, and betrayal that showed there makes me cry every time I see it, the feeling swirling inside of me like a tornado.

I have been a depressed mess, my anxiety rising. I can't stop the attacks, them hitting me hard like a sumo wrestler. I feel as if I can't breathe, the air being sucked out with a vacuum. My head spins in dizzying circles, my palms and forehead getting slick with sweat. Thoughts keep swirling around in my head as I pull at my hair, asking me wether living would be worth it. I can't breath. I can't move. Why does it feel like I'm suffocating? What if I die, would anyone notice? Would anyone care?

I am brought back to my senses when someone bumps into me, causing me to fall to the ground painfully. I hiss in pain as I massage my soar backside, looking up at the person who knocked me over.

Jungkook's pov

"Oh, it's you."

I sigh as I continue on my way, not even stopping to help Z off the floor. I hadn't meant to bump into her, but that doesn't mean I'm going to apologize to her. What she did to me, to us, was unforgivable. Pretending to be mentally and physically abused is just sick! I can't believe that she would go to such lengths just to get us to acknowledge her.

I turn slightly as I hear a quiet sob come from the girl, her shoulders shaking. I watch as she runs up the stairs to the roof, not even bothering to pick up her fallen stuff. Even though I can't forgive her for what she's done, I can't help but feel a pang of hurt in my chest watching her cry like that. I had grown really close to her, and seeing her like that makes me remember all the times when I had been by her side. I had developed feelings for her, even though that proved to be useless because of her boyfriend.

"Nice going bro!"

Speak of the devil.

I scoff and roll my eyes as Tom puts his arm around me, patting me on the back. I shrug his arm off in disgust, not wanting to be near this guy. Not only did he beat me up, but he is also dating the girl I just had to be infatuated with. I was a lovestruck puppy chasing after her like that. If only I had known sooner.

"Welcome to the dark side" Tom says with a smirk, taking no heed to my rude behavior. I look at him with a confused expression on my face, a little mystified. Isn't he upset that I did that to his girlfriend?

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, aware of his friends all crowding around us. I don't want to get hurt again. Tom's smirk is unsettlingly sinister, his yellowing teeth showing from between his parted lips.

"For messing with Z. It's my favorite pastime."

What? Why would he do that? I'm confused as to why he isn't punching me in the face right now for knocking Z down. I sure would if I was in his situation.

"Why would you say that? Aren't you two dating?"

His laugh startles my slightly, the sound echoing off the walls of the now-empty hallway. I had heard the bell ring, but I didn't go to class. I want to hear what Tom has to say.

"Me and Z? Dating? Never! She has never liked me, though I understand why. I did kind of use her as my own person pleasure girl. Hell, pretty much everyone did. She only kissed me back once, and that was so I would finally leave her alone or whatever."

My eyes harden at this, my glare accusatory and hard. What did he just say? His cocky smirk tells me that he wasn't joking about what he just said. He takes pride in me knowing that he basically had a sex slave at his disposal. He wants me to be jealous. He wants me to be envious of him. The only emotions I am feeling are disgust and anger. Why the fuck would he think that it is ok to use another human being like that? What kind of a sick bastard is he?

My eyes widen as I fully take in what he just said. That means Z was telling the truth the whole time. That means that she really did get abused. She hadn't told us who was hurting her because it was Tom. She hadn't wanted us to get hurt. That also means that I am a huge idiot. I had accused her of lying to us. I told her that I didn't want to talk to her again when she had done nothing wrong. I had ignored her for no reason. Now she probably feels like complete and utter shit. And it's all my fault.

"Shh. It's ok. I won't let anyone hurt you."

I fucked up. I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt her, yet I've probably hurt her the most. I push Tom out of the way, too focused on finding Z and apologizing to her to actually hurt him for what he did. I'll do that later. I run up the stairs that lead to the roof, skipping three at a time in my haste. The door swings open and hits the wall with a loud bang because of how hard I pushed it open. My chest rises and falls as I try and catch my breath from running so fast, my eyes wide in horror.

"Z! What are you doing!?!"