Taiven Parmiga

Chapter 26: Hiding Away

After having an interesting lunch date with Evan the other day, I called to take a day off of filming, saying I was sick. Ever since that afternoon, all I can think about is how Evan acted. He looked so nervous and scared. And then when Emma came, completely calm and collected. And Emma. That sneaky, conniving snake. The way she talked to him, looked at him, touched him. Everything I replay it all in my head in a feeble attempt to make sense of it all, I get chills. Not in a good way.

I've spent the past 24 hours thinking over every little move, every single word, trying to decipher and determine what it all meant. Something must have happened. Maybe he has feelings for her? Maybe she's just trying to take him from me, and he has to stay professional to keep up a good public image? I can come up with thousands of theories or ideas, but if I'm being completely honest with myself, the only way I'll ever know for sure is to ask Evan directly.

After deciding that talking to him about it is my only reasonable option, I couldn't shake this looming feeling of gloom and darkness. Something tells me this conversation with Evan won't end well.

For the past day I haven't been able to get my mind off of it. I feel scared by the second and at sometimes physically ill. I don't know what else to do. Or think. Or say.

Now I lay on the soft, thick carpet of my living room, in between the coffee table and the TV. I stare up at the ceiling fan as it spins, achingly slow. I sit up quickly, looking left and right for my cell phone. I stand and walk toward the table I keep by the front door. Soon, though, I have to grab hold of the sofa behind me, quickly becoming dizzy from standing up too fast. I grab my phone and ignore the texts and calls I've received from my manager, the director, and Evan. I quickly scroll through my contacts and click to one I'm looking for. I tap the name and put the phone up to my ear.

"Hey. How are you?...I'm good....Listen, I've kinda gotten myself into a tough situation, and I'm pretty confused about it all. I need your help. Or just someone to talk to...is there any way you could come over sometime today?...Okay, awesome. Thank you so so much...I'll see you then. Bye." I hang up and then look through my texts and calls. 9 texts and 7 calls from him. I should probably call him back. But I don't know what to say or how to explain how I'm feeling.

I toss my phone in the sofa before walking into the kitchen to make myself a BLT. I walk back to the TV room and sit in the middle of the sofa, sitting my glass of water on the side table to my left, and grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. I flip through the stations and settle on the cooking show. I finish my food and go to clean my dishes. As I'm drying my plate, I hear the familiar tune of the AHS theme song. I walk back and see my phone lighting up, the screen reading Evan.

I stare at it for a long time before deciding I should answer. I touch the answer button and hold it up to my ear, taking a shaky breath before speaking quietly,

"Hi.."

"Hey! Wow, where have you been? It's like you disappeared off the planet or something. I called and texted you tons today." He talks loudly and quickly. I have to swallow before replying shortly,

"Sorry."

"Hey...are you alright? You sound a little..."

"I'm fine." I butt in, pushing back any deep discussions until I have my thoughts straight. "I just woke up this morning feeling really sick. I didn't want to spread it or anything, so I called in and took a day off." I bite the inside of my cheek nervously  and fumble with the hem of my t-shirt.

"Oh. Okay. Do you want me to come over? I make a mean Veggie Soup."

"No! I mean...it's fine. You don't have to do that." I have a slight outburst and feel my heart break when I hear the frown and concern in his response.

"But, Tai, I want to."

"Ev, it's fine. I swear. I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow." I get quieter with every word I say, hating myself for sounding so rude toward him, when he might not have done anything wrong.

"Alright...yeah. I'll see you tomorrow...Sleep well." he get's quiet too. I can hear the sadness and confusion. I would feel worse if I weren't as confused myself at the moment.

"Thank you. Goodnight." I say, as calmly and sincerely as I can, hoping it'll let him know I don't hate him and that I feel bad for how I spoke and acted. I hang up and take a breather. The amount of emotions experienced in that one phone call was exhausting. I slowly climb the stairs and wrap myself up in the blankets on my bed, welcoming sleep and hoping my dreams will take me far away from here and what I'm feeling now.