Taiven Parmiga

Chapter 29: Plan B

I rush home after my horrid interaction with Emma, not able to forget or let go of what she said to me. Just before reaching my house, it starts to drizzle outside. I slam the car door and start to run towards the front door, everything beginning to blur as the tears start to come.

Plan A is now nonexistent. Instead, Plan B came and screwed me up entirely. Every second that followed her words felt like a tighter grip around my throat as the truth choked me slowly. It was another twist of the knife that was plunged into my gut. It got worse by the minute as I continued to think of every single word she spoke, hoping, praying she was lying and we still had a chance of happiness together. But I remember my sister's words all too soon, and know she couldn't have been lying about it.

"People like her don't waste their energy boasting about something that didn't happen." I remember Vera telling me. I throw my keys on the table by the door before the winds shuts it behind me. I take off my jacket and carelessly drop it on the floor by the door before running upstairs to my room.

I flings myself on the bed and cover my face with both of my hands, feelings the tears slowly roll down the side of my face. It was all true. Everything I worried about turned out to not only be the truth, but even worse than I expected. When did I let this get so out of hand? When did he stop caring about me? Or maybe the better, but much scarier question is if he ever cared to begin with.

I want to believe he did. He's too nice to have made it up all along to lead me on. I want to believe the moments we had, the memories made, the connections and sparks weren't just an exaggerated part of my imagination all along. I don't want it to be gone and done forever. But is it worth all of this pain and heartache? Maybe this was supposed to happen...

The rain begins to get louder as the sky grows greyer with storm clouds. I always loved rain. The sound of it hitting the roof above me, the rumbling of thunder, the way the lightning quickly brightens a pitch black room, but only for a second. It always made me relax and everything becomes clearer when I'm relaxed.

In that instant, I sit up straight and pop my eyes open quickly. Maybe this was supposed to happen...?

Maybe Plan A should have been going to Emma. Maybe the real Plan A was to go to the least reliable, and yet 100% honest, source of the situation. But then what is the real Plan B? Where am I supposed to go from here?

Evan. He's my Plan B. The best way of getting the truth from him is to do it in the state I'm in right now. When I'm feeling angry and sad and determined to know, from him, what happened. That's how I can know for sure. If I go to him right now, while I'm feeling and thinking like this, being fueled by adrenaline, he can't lie to me.

That's the Plan B. It's tonight. It's right now.