God In Us

Knowing myself part 2

I'm hungry.But I don't think I'll be able to find something here,all I can see is the sands that extend towards the horizon;these sands,covered all over by the bodies of my human brothers;these sands,covered all over by their blood.But,if I'm to live,if I'm to overcome this fate,I'll have to find something to eat,something to drink.I looked around hoping to find something and came across a crow feeding on one of my human brother's flesh,then the idea struck me,but...how can I do that,don't I have any other way?
No,I made up mind,I closed my eyes and I could hear my heart's music,the only thing that makes me believe that I'm still alive,I told myself,"If you want to fight this,if you want to win,if you want to find the reason .....you ought to live,you ought to fight that God who is responsible for this.....yes,I'll have to feed on human flesh.

It's been dark and I'm very much tired.I laid down on the sands,it's become too cold.I thought to myself ,"Will there be a tomorrow?What will happen to me?".Suddenly I felt my thoughts coming back,I started remembering things,yes,I remembered that I used to pray to God every night before sleeping,I used to thank him for giving me that day,some left this world that day,I thanked him for not making me one of them.......But what now?Whom would I thank,and what for?

I felt sleep embracing me,and.....I fell asleep.

I'm walking through the snow covered mountains.I can feel the cold breeze striking my chest.I can feel that the nature is intensifying the cold to make me stop moving forward.
In the distance I see someone,but I cannot recognize whom he is, he's standing still there,and I realize that he's looking at me ...and suddenly I started gathering my lost thoughts....".oh god,is that you,dad?",I suddenly cried.I can someone joining him...."Mooommmm",I cried aloud,words find it hard to come out of my mouth.And I ran towards them,and I realized that my brother too was there.I ran and ran,but my effort was in vain,they went farther and farther,I cried again,louder this time,"Mom,Dad,Adam come back,come back to me,don't leave me alone here in this hell,come back to your Abu".Nobody seemed to care about my worries.Suddenly I saw two more people coming out from nowhere,towards my right and a strange feeling came upon me.The two people started coming closer to me....closer and closer,but yet alone their faces are not clear.

They started saying,together in one voice,"Abu,oru son,where have you been this long,we were waiting for you".
And I looked towards the place where I had just seen my family.They were moving away from me,and darkness filled the place where they had stood.Yes,it has become so dark that I cannot even find a trace of my family.

And the two people started saying again,now a little louder,"Abu,our son,where were you?".

I stood there dumbstruck.I found it unable to find my breath and started choking.

Then I started remembering things again,only I'm not at the place where I saw all of them,this place ....it's like ...yes,Im surrounded by clouds,I'm floating in the air.

At a distance I saw six people,facing me,and among them I saw my parents,my dearest brother and.......I can't just recognize the two of them and their faces are not at all clear, but they are the ones who just called me their son, that I can make up from their dresses.And then I saw uncle Narine and......yes,now it seems I know who those two are.

I remember,it was just once uncle Narine told me about that.I was only ten when he told me that I was an orphan,that my real parents dumped me at the doors of the the Welshey's,Robin Welshey and Arundati Welshey,whom I grow up calling dad and mom.I now remember that I was always grateful to uncle Narine for telling me the truth,he thought that I deserved to know it,to know who I'm really.But,I never wanted to believe that I was an orphan,even though that was the bitter truth,and I never bothered to ask uncle Narine who my real parents were and why did they dump me.But I always wondered why did they even tried to make me in the first place,only to be dumped later!!!