Our Toxic Love 2

Chapter Thirty One

- Ethan -

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Two weeks later and here I am, in Sasha's funeral.

I wear a black suit and stand alongside my brother, who's quietly keeping his sobs to himself. I still can't believe this has happened.

A few days earlier, my parents had asked me to prepare a speech for today. I was totally against it at first because I seriously did not want to start getting emotional all over again up on that stage. But then I decided it didn't matter; this is what Sasha would've wanted, right?

So, as the guests all greet my parents and apologize for their loss, I spot Ariana, Jared, and Kyle standing a little away from me, at the far end of the cemetery. Honestly, I don't know whether they count as my friends since I barely talk to them, but I'm glad they're here for me anyway. But when I begin to approach them to thank them for coming, I come to a halt as something catches my eye.

Ariana and Jared and standing side by side facing Kyle, their hands held together, fingers intertwined. I can't hear what they're saying, but Kyle seems to have said something, causing Ariana to smile faintly and press her forehead against Jared's jaw lovingly. And Jared doesn't seem as confused as I do, he's smiling. Like it's just casual.

What surprises me even more, is the mere trickle of jealousy I feel. I recall how my relationship with Ariana used to be, though some stuff are a complete blank to me, but still. I know how jealous and possessive I used to get over her. But now, those have minimized into smaller amounts, leaving me with just bafflement and surprise.

For a moment, I start to wonder if this is all just for show, if Ariana's just using him to make me jealous or something. But right then, they both exchange a rather long glance, and the look in their eyes is enough to tell me that they genuinely have feelings for each other.

"Hi, Ethan," a voice greets me quietly, jarring into my thoughts.

I turn to find Madison, wearing a cute black dress and an expression of sympathy on her face.

"Mads," I force a smile.

She hesitates for a full second before throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly. My dread and sorrow disappear briefly during the embrace, but come washing over me once more when she pulls away.

"I tried calling you after I found out about this," she admits. "But it always went straight to voicemail."

"I-I turned my phone off," I explain. "I didn't wanna talk to anyone about it."

She shakes her head. "God, Ethan, I'm so sorry."

Just then, everyone begins to take their seats, my mom moving to stand at the podium to recite her speech. My eyes trail to the mahogany coffin displayed right before us, and an aching multiplies in my heart. It's my little sister in there, she's lost the battle. I'll never be able to see her again. I choke up a little at the overwhelming thoughts, and Madison seems to have noticed because she squeezes my hand reassuringly. I feel momentarily grateful for having her here with me.

As my mom talks about Sasha up there, I find myself staring into space, zoning out. The few memories I'd retrieved the moment I'd found out Sasha had passed away run through my mind, over and over again.

Madison nudges me. "Ethan," she hisses.

I jolt, knocking myself out of my daze and find that everyone's staring at me. I turn to Madison questioningly.