Crash Test Dummy

Chapter 7

I got my savings account balance sheet and brought it to the kitchen with me. I sat down at the table and took a bite or brownie followed by a swig of milk. "These are great," I said with a mouth full.

She sort of grinned. "You could have waited until you swallowed to tell me."

"Nothing I do is right." I scowled.

"Could you leave the sullen CW upstairs for once?" She cut her eyes at me turned her lips up in a parody of a smile. "I'd really like to have a pleasant conversation for a change."

I wiped the frown from my face. "Sorry, Momz."

"Momz?" 

"That's what's hip. You'll get used to it."

"It just sounds like bad grammar to me."

"It'll grow on you. And, you have to get used to CW because that is the name I'm going to be using from now on. But he isn't always a gloomy gus. I'll try to show you his good side."

"So CW is not Mr. Hyde to Wayne's Dr. Jeckyl?"

"Hardly." I sort of grinned at Momz literary reference. I was sure she didn't see the remake of the movie a few years back. I only saw it because my lame eighth grade English teacher showed it to us, trying to get us interested in classical literature. Like anyone was going to read a book written in the 1800s. "I'm still the same guy, just with a different hash tag."

"You could have fooled me."

"Well, teens are supposed to be sort of moody sometimes, aren't they? Besides, you have to admit, I had cause to kinda take a dive off the deep end."

"I'm sure you think so, and evidently nothing I say will change that."

"Nope, but I'm trying to cut you some slack. I guess lots of women do strange things in the name of parenthood."

"I'm not going to apologize for being your Mom, Way... um, CW." She almost choked on the syllables. "It's my job to look out for you and to try to protect you. Maybe you'll understand that when you have a child. In the meantime, lets both try to be civilized and maybe even show a little love."

I looked at her. She looked like she was about to cry. Even though she'd been cruel and unjust, she was still my Momz.

"Okay," I held out my hand. "Truce. Since you're trying by choking out the name CW, I'll try to..." I sort of trailed off as I tried to think of what I could say that wouldn't hurt her feelings or be a total lie. "Um, I'll try to cut out the sarcasm, at least most of the time."

She shook my hand while taking a shuddering breath. "It's a start."

I took another big bite of brownie. "I guess evil Momz didn't forget how to cook," I grinned. "Oops, I forgot. Throw out the sarcasm."

"You'd have to completely change personalities to get rid of sarcasm. I don't mind the joking kind. It's the intentionally hurtful kind I hope you'll lose."

I held up the savings account statement. "I was thinking about using some of my money to buy a TV for the shed." While we were being civil seemed like a good time to broach the subject.

"Why not just move the one from your bedroom?"

"I want one with a bigger screen for me and the guys to use for video games. Walmart has a 52 inch one on sale. I showed her the picture of the TV on my phone with the $550 price tag."

"That's kind of big. And the price is kind of high."

"If I can find one for under $400, can I get it?"