Flying Through the Flames || Poe Dameron [The Force Awakens + the Last Jedi]

Butterflies

I made my way into Leia's conference room, C-3P0 following behind me as the door automatically slid shut.

"Hello Nyssa." The General greeted me, offering me a seat.

"Hi." I said back placidly, bending to sit. "What's the verdict, General?"

"I want you to go to Jakku and find Lor San Tekka."

"Me?" I gasped, wondering why the hell Poe didn't get 'the job'.

"Yes, you." Leia smiled, almost proudly at me, her eyes twinkling.

"Why?" I breathed, the impact of my shock sending me backwards slightly in my chair.

Why would she choose me instead of Poe?

"Why?" General Organa repeated in disbelief, certainly befuddled. "What do you mean?"

"Why would you pick me instead of him?" I repeated my question in full, for the sake of clarity. "Not to sound ungrateful, I just don't feel I deserve it over Poe."

General Leia pursed her lips, drawing a deep inhale of the crisp air in the room.

"Nyssa," She began, meeting my gaze with intensity. I felt like I couldn't move under her eyes, not that I wished to anyhow, pinned to the seat I was in. "You can do things, things that Poe can't."

"Why does that matter?" I snapped, knowing exactly what Leia was referring to.

"We're up against the First Order,"

"I know."

"Nyssa, being able to use the Force is bound to come in handy on this mission."

I felt my eyes widen even further, feeling as though someone had splashed a bucket of iced water in my face, the freezing shock surging up the veins of my arms.

How could General Organa, someone who'd known me for as long as she had, say such a thing?

How could she assume I was in a position to properly use the Force in the first place?

I'd only started using it again a mere couple of days before the conversation happening right then.

How could someone I trusted so deeply choose me to do something based on skills I was absolutely not comfortable using?

"Really." I deadpanned the question like a statement, reining in my discontent: I still needed to be respectful.

This was not an easy task, pulling back a violent storm of emotions as hard as I could, all the while keeping my face a mask.

"Of course." Leia smiled, having no idea of the upset she'd stirred in my chest, again with a proud gleam in her eyes.

I couldn't believe I was what she was proud of.

...

I shuffled out of Leia's conference room, eyes in a semi-permanent state of wideness. My limbs, once cold with shock, were numb, making it difficult for me to lift my feet off the cool stone floor.

Leia had given me details regarding the mission: when I was to leave, in what spacecraft, and the like, as well as mentioning how happy she was I was 'going to help find my Jedi master'.

I still couldn't believe the ignorance.

All I could think, was I didn't want to be the one to tell Poe that I was going on one of the most important missions of my life instead of him.

Thus, I didn't meet him when I exited the room, I didn't even nod, even though he was waiting right there for me.

"Phoenix!"

As expected, Poe chased after me and found his way into my line of sight, his usual, positive smile in place.

"Phoenix, what happened?" He gushed, so excited.

"She--" I bit my lip hard, trying to figure out a way to avoid the question, but came up empty.

All I could do now was do my best to stay collected and calm.

"General Organa thinks it would be best if I go and get the map." I tried to sound professional, boring my eyes into Poe's red ranking badge on his jacket, signifying he was a commander, instead of looking into his eyes.

"Really?" He asked, sounding truly happy. I finally glanced up to his face, seeing an excited look that made me smile briefly. "I'm so happy for you!"

With that he bent down enough to wrap his arms around me in a crushing hug, I could practically feel my bones creaking under the pressure.

"Thank you--" I gasped, feeling Poe's face shift from over my shoulder to my cheek, as he pressed his lips to my skin.

I almost made a noise of surprise, but held it in, my stomach exploding with fluttery butterflies.

When he let me go, I was grinning, but wondering if Poe was perhaps being too excited for me.

"I still think you should go." I admitted. "You deserve it more than I do."

"Nah," Poe smiled and took my hand as we walked out of the main base, feeling returning to my extremities with Poe's hand in mine. "You're going to be amazing, okay? You'll come back, we'll find Luke together with General Organa, and figure out a way to obliterate the First Order."

"You make it sound so easy." I scoffed.

"With you, anything's possible."

...

When walking into the room in the base where we were to meet the recruits and go over a lesson, the only one of the day, something felt off.

I truly wasn't sure what it was, my eyes darting around, scanning multiple faces before I caught sight of Callie.

She stared at me with intense interest from the back of the room, the rest of the recruits silent.

That's when I understood why things felt different: it was the sound.

No one spoke when I walked in, they all were looking straight at me.

I glanced to Poe in a state of mild nervousness, unsure what I'd done to draw so much attention.

His lips curved into a reassuring smile in response, as soothing as ever, and it was enough for me to continue my path into the space.

"Today, we're talking about known interrogation techniques used by the First Order." Poe began, taking a seat on top of the spherical desk at the front of the room.

I curled my lip out of instinct, suddenly remembering the topic of today's lesson.

Poe and I had known about it for at least two weeks beforehand, yet taking into account the dream I had the night before, I was not jazzed about the topic.

This would be a rough hour or so.

...

I survived the lesson, along with a few trainees who were uncomfortable with the subject matter as well as I was, but they said so out loud.

One thing was for sure, it wasn't nice discussing ways the First Order could try and get into our minds: from torture to Kylo Ren physically pulling information out of people's heads using the Force.

Poe and I had to prepare a group of people, still practically children, for the possibility that they would one day be captured by the First Order, and that Kylo Ren may come and forcibly pull information out of their heads.

I hated my job sometimes.

However, I hated the First Order more.

_______________________________

A/N : Thanks for reading everyone!

So Nyssa's going on the mission instead of Poe! What does everyone think of that?

Comments and votes low-key keep me motivated, and I love hearing what everyone thinks!

Have a grand day!

- TAAF_