Flying Through the Flames || Poe Dameron [The Force Awakens + the Last Jedi]

Ice

Nyssa's POV

Steam rose around me as I was dragged to foggy consciousness. Scorching pain pounded my head and I wiggled my fingers. I was burning and freezing all at once. My hands scraped against little blocks of ice and a metal container holding me. Ice.

An ice bath. They'd put me in an ice bath. I didn't have to ask to know why, judging by the steam.

My eyes snapped open and a low groan rumbled from my throat at the bright lights assaulting them. I shut them immediately. I could barely move.

"Nyssa, thank God." That was Leia's voice.

Then warm hands were gently lifting me into a sitting position. Sparks of pain splintered through me as I clenched my jaw. Frigid water slid off me like I was a stone in a stream.

"Leia..." I managed, my voice barely a whisper. "Is he okay?" She knew who I was talking about. The reason I'd let myself be so thoroughly drained. The sounds around me began to fade.

"Nyssa,"

I tried opening my eyes a crack. Leia crouched in front of me but the image blurred. I didn't think I could cling to consciousness much longer.

"Poe is going to be fine," Leia said softly as my eyes shut again. Things were spinning as relief flooded me. "He'll be fine thanks to you."

That was the last thing I heard before the world slipped away again.

*

I awoke on a bed or some kind, likely a gurney, with a needle stuck in my arm. Leia was seated near my bed, and someone I knew was a doctor was standing at the end of the bed. I could tell they were there without having to open my eyes. They were in the middle of a conversation.

"She needs to rest," the doctor said.

"I know that. I just need to speak with her for a moment." Leia's voice. There was urgency in her tone. "Then you can let her rest. I have to speak with her as soon as possible--"

I opened my eyes and sat up, ignoring the ache clawing at every part of me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the doctor at my feet said, and Leia's eyes immediately brightened.

"Where is Poe?" I demanded, my muscles quivering as they held me upright.

"The Commander is resting," Leia murmured. "He is going to be fine."

Hearing it again, the confirmation unravelled some of the uneasy tightness in my chest. "You know about his head injury?" I asked. "He was hit really hard."

The doctor dipped his head. "Doctor Kalonia is working on his injuries as we speak, but he isn't our top concern at the moment."

I didn't bother to snarl that he should be their top priority. That without him the Resistance would be nothing. They knew that. I didn't want to hear what he had to say next.

"You are extremely dehydrated, Lieutenant. And malnourished. When was the last time you had a proper meal?" my doctor asked, and I shut my eyes again. It hurt too much to keep them open.

"I don't remember," I murmured. I think my body was too stunned to even consider food at that moment. Exhaustion weighed me down like a thick blanket.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Leia asked softly, her eyes searching what I knew was a worn face.

I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want to look at her and tell her what her son had become. We all knew it, but what I'd seen was the most damning evidence of all. I knew I wouldn't be able to get through all that had happened verbally.

"I can show you," I murmured, taking her hand. I hadn't used the Force to let someone see things I had seen in a long, long while but I knew I ought to. Leia needed the whole truth in a way I did not have the heart to tell her.

So I showed her. What Ren had said to me, what he'd tried to do, how we'd gotten out. Memories shot through my mind like stars in the sky that I knew Leia could see too. Her grief filled the air like a cloud that broke my heart. I never cared for Ben like I knew a mother cared for her son and I could feel the images of Ben tore her to shreds.

When I pulled away from the memory, Leia's face was exactly how I thought it would look. Defeat was etched into her features and my chest cracked at the sight.

"We managed to get off the destroyer with the help of a former storm trooper. Poe renamed him Finn." My heart lightened slightly at the recollection, despite everything that had happened. "We were hit just above Jakku, and Finn ejected. I tried to land the ship as best I could and when Poe and I tried to walk to an outpost, he collapsed. I carried him the rest of the way and I stole a ship. And now we're here."

Leia smiled slightly. "I am glad for that, at least." She reached for my hand, her eyes lined with silver. "So very glad."

"I'm sorry I didn't try to find BB-8 on Jakku," I breathed, the panic of having to face that failure rising in my chest. "We both failed, and I am so sorry. I just had to get Poe safe. I had no other option. If I get demoted for this then so be it because I would never have made a different choice with Poe's life on the line. I would do it all over again to save him."

"I know, Nyssa. I know," Leia murmured. "I would never demote you for such a thing. We'll find the map a different way, but right now you need rest."

I sighed, eyeing the needle stuck in my vein. It looked like I was stuck there anyway. "Alright."