It's Just Weird

6. Depression Is Solely Weird

Now this is something that would make most of you people tipsy because maybe you've been through it or maybe still are. But when I'm talking about depression being weird, I don't mean the concept. I mean the process.

Now trust me when I say this, I have been through depression, and I have countless friends who still are. I help them I helped myself through this weird crisis. Now my novel doesn't allow me to tell you how to overcome depression, but if you want help, comment or pm away.

Back to the topic. Depression is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person's ability to function at work and at home.

Feeling sad or having a depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, loss of energy or increased fatigue, increase in restless activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech, feeling worthless or guilty, difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions and thoughts of death or suicide.

If you fill more than three of these conditions, then there you have ladies and gentlemen, Depression.

Now how is it weird? Here a few poems to explain.

She took a deep breath,
She counted to three
A picture in her head,
Of who they wanted me to be.

They wanted me to be normal,
Happy and kind.
They never thought,
That this girl would be blind.

Not blind by the meaning,
But blind in the heart.
Blinded by darkness,
Blinded by dark.

She walks around lifeless,
Her heart beating but dead.
A walking corpse
she is lost inside her head.

Things have no meaning,
At least not anymore.
She was not how she was,
How she was once before.

She is one of the living
But one of the dead.
A part of her is missing.
She hangs on by a thread.

She hung her head low
took one final bow
she stepped off the edge
Saying one final vow.

"I will not change who I am
As hard as any of you try
This is me giving up
This is one last goodbye."

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/who-they-wanted-her-to-be

My world is falling, crumbling apart, life is meaningless & that's just the start
My hearts so sore, I can feel it breaking & I swear to god it leaves me shaking
Late at night till early in the morning, lying in bed eyes wide open. Didn't sleep last night, like all the others, instead I just lie crying in the covers
Quick, wipe away all the tears before they come near. must hide this depression & the feelings of fear
For all they know I'm happy & always smiling, but deep inside my soul is dying
I can feel it rotting, it wants to scream, but I won't let it... not for the time being
I can never tell them how I feel cause the happiness I wear to them is real
For them to hear that I wish I was dead... it would kill them, they'd be filled with dread
So I'll try my best no to be selfish, I'll keep my secret hidden & just let them rest
but god I can't take it much longer... I'll probably be dead before they even wonder.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/ill-keep-it-hidden

Still don't find it weird? Allow me to explain.

Did you see the way the person in the poem was acting? She was having double thoughts, while people like me (un depressed people) have only one state of mind. She cared about what her friends, family and the world thought about her, while I wave my middle finger around and say Yolo bitches. Her heart is empty and her soul is lifeless, while people like me, although the same, still search for a purpose to live. The last and most important thing. She gave up.

Giving up, in the whole sense of the word, is taboo to me. You. Never. Give. Up.

No matter how fucked up your life is, how many problems you have, it is a challenge. Look at the sky and tell God, 'Bring It On!'. Grow some balls, or if you're a female, hold your standards higher than your heels and deal with the problem.

Suck it up and take control of your life. Don't let it control you into madness and ultimately suicide.

So the way the person acts is weird. He loses interest in everything, and forgets the purpose of life. To enjoy before you go.

Here's another chapter, depression is weird. Peace out 🤘🏻